Secretly Pissed Easily

pages 161 - 164

2010-07-18T15:57:00.002-04:00

4/26/10 She Rhymes With

This item I plan to purchase, like the whole store costs a fee,

never would this feeling, come from something free,

you give me goosebumps, like I do from watching Glee,

how much beauty I feel someone is, you are always in my mind to see.

She rhymes with those, on that I will agree,

plant my hope like a seed, and pray to grow into a birch tree,

I close all my doors to the world, yet you always find a key,

knock down my walls, and pick me out of the debris.

Hoping I was picked, like a college football draftee,

have a great career with her? on that I can not foresee,

sadness is always my norm, because of her happiness is given to me,

I would go the longest distance for her, even run the Grand Prix.

For her I will always stay honest, and always be gutsy,

on your worst of moments, I will still be your soothing iced tea,

her name opposes heaven, beginning with a C,

she rhymes with all the above, and the ending I can not sea.

4/26/10 4:20 plus six

Why is it people speaking the truth, are always the assholes,

the typical type of man, well I am done speaking to your feelings,

when this entire time, mine have been badly scratched discs,

I will start to speak my mind, no matter how typical ass I become.

Why is it chickens, that only want to chew some shit,

when turkeys nowadays, only want to gobble,

now life is handing me folds, and I am leaning towards trouble,

chickens will start to gobble at shit, turkeys will just chill.

Why is it stoners like me, wake up to the break of dawn,

to take a hit from DragonBreath, pocket pipe or bong,

make the boring shit fun, thats what I will always choose,

much like Batman & Robin with a cyph by my side, I can never lose.

Why is it heartsick prone people like me, those that are the easiest to fall,

for the New Years peer, she seems to have it all,

heres a new view of me, please check out my new perspective,

I believe that we will happen, when I least expect it.

4/26/10 Burn After Reading

They say imagination is your preview, to lives coming attractions,

well I have one person in my mind, she is my strongest distraction,

she can be my actress, as director I call action,

she better know that when I drift off, she is my first reaction.

Forget the talent show, quit daydreaming kid,

someone came in your life, all of a sudden your family is undid,

so you grabbed who you were, went deep inside and hid,

never let your friends and close ones, go into your area of forbid.

Yet now I am different, and there is one girl in my dream,

enough for her to be my Freddy Krueger, yet never make me scream,

you take my emotions to the next level, with the aim of extreme,

warm weather will be the time, as you will be my more than dreams seem scheme.

To numb and ease my mind, I burn after I pack,

and happiness becomes my everything, fly high is something I never lack,

I need to get my life together, and finally pick up the slack,

but for now I will stay smacked, as I lay down and hit the sack.

4/27/10 Positivity Passed to my Hand

Take that breath, then look to pass it to the right,

nobody is sitting next to me, and nobody is in sight,

so I pass it to my other hand, I am a righty cypher thats a fact,

me and my new life, sure make an exciting pact.

It keeps getting better, do not be afraid of something happening,

I would pull my legless body with one dragging arm, to get to where you are standing,

even when you take the last word, only you will I let get by,

you are too beautiful to not let go, still when we talk will I feel a butterfly.

Want to know about every Tuesday night? where your perfection is an ongoing thought?

I long the day when we are close, I dream to see what we have got,

so until then I am running, to find that path to get there,

and if I fall, I fall up, fall down, get back up without a care.

Here comes my turn, spark me I need some direction,

ever since Virginia got me into it, I have undergone a resurrection,

last time I would say, long and weary my road has been to 20,

now I say bring as much as you have got, I can take plenty.

pages 157 - 160

2010-07-13T14:08:00.002-04:00

4/24/10 When You Enter (Endless Dream)

You enter the house, all boring in black in white,

the second you enter, color is slapped onto the painting,

at first we share a glance, as I am in utter shock of your beauty,

you look away and smile, as I am astonished by your shyness.

I walk up to you, say you look amazing tonight,

you say thanks, you don't look so bad too,

I ask you if you would like to dance, already we are holding hands,

pull you towards the center of the room, as together we sway with the beat.

Then you push me into the wall, and walk away in confusion,

say nothing can happen, be mature about this something must,

I could go on a lifetime just kissing, with you it is much more than mere attraction,

I truly click with you, happiness is sure to accompany time while I am in your presence.

4/24/10 Pardon Me

My road is littered with false hope, and pictures of my former self,

why must the lonely stoner be free at night, why must he suffer for himself,

pardon me while i change, pardon me while I won't ever be the same,

pardon me if I choose to not talk, you treated us as a game.

I should stop looking for girls like my mom, since that means they mastered the art of departure,

take my heart and dip it in a flame, aim me at the other like an archer,

pardon me while I distrust women, pardon me while I speak personal truth,

pardon me while I never grow up, I will always choose the side of youth.

Got so much smoke in my room, I feel like Taker when I enter,

hit that bubbler like Dragonbreath, let me begin to be your mentor,

pardon me while I hit that blunt, pardon me while I fly high,

pardon me while I choose to numb, as I lift off to the sky.

I got a girl who knew me, before I hit that cloud nine,

sop on that Gatorade, occasionally the fine wine,

pardon me while I think of New Years, pardon me while I replay,

pardon me while i stay high for weeks, my life has run astray.

4/24/10 Lets Pretend

"Can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky,

are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now,"

lets pretend I never stopped playing football, trying to be better than Jay Feely,

hoping for Fordham to be in my future, now lets pretend this was real.

Lets pretend that I didn't get senioritis, and got those straight A's,

never missed a day going into college, perfect future to portray,

kept that rap sheet going, straight to the Hunter Hawks,

hoping I would pass every class, as a pitcher I clearly balked.

Lets pretend I started QB at Fordham, knowing it is more than dreams seem,

my mind has become a garden, only in happiness will it be plowed,

lets pretend that airplanes are shooting stars, because I could really use a wish right now.

4/25/10 Spring Training, Season Awaiting

Reading the newspaper, hoping to find the section of baseball,

longing to see that article, about last seasons bullpen clearing brawl,

glancing over the page, reading the daily notes for my team,

hoping for a successful season, and for winning to be this years theme.

First pitchers and catchers, then finally the rest,

next comes spring training games, then the rookies start to impress,

pitchers start to get higher pitch counts, starting lineups begin to take shape,

fans start to awake, watching baseball for an escape.

The weather starts warming up, Little Leagues have their parade,

the countdown begins fresh, as Spring training begins to fade,

Opening Day is just around the corner, its logo starts to taunt,

this season I am awaiting, and the full diamond is all I want.

pages 151-156

2010-07-05T16:52:00.002-04:00

4/16/10 Could It Be?

She is everything I like and then some, compared to her who is everything I dislike,

met be accident, talked because of a friend,

and every time we talk, a smile always ends up on my face,

call me your deuce siph, as long as it invoves you and me.

Together the Snape love is strong, and our problems are known between us,

could it be I found someone, or could it be just another great friend,

scared of thinking too far, my wound still tears when it is flexed,

and yet still my resolution girl is there, even though nothing can ever be.

Could it be that I have, revisited my past,

seems like I have been in this situation, and never learned my lesson,

so finally I will just be me, and let the wind pick its course,

could it be, that this time I know my feelings?

4/18/10 This Tear I'm Cryin

This tear i'm cryin, is from coughing too much,

after I take that puff, bubbler starts doing its thing,

cough enough to pop vessels in my eyes, then inhale water,

go off into my own world, but once I return...

This tear i'm cryin, is for the girl who I care for most,

and she cares back, but there is a wall in between us,

so I take that puff puff, and flu high over it,

but never do I stop for you, so that is why...

This tear i'm cryin, is for the girl who for years,

was my support system keeping me strong, as well as a supposed lover,

then one day up and left, so now I puff puff puff,

never do I feel sadness when kushed, which is why...

This tear i'm cryin, is for everything good in the past,

all my choices are MIA, the old me was KIA,

never should liquor change me, this much and this often,

so I puff puff puff puff, hit the ground so now...

This tear you're cryin, is for Renato Vitale,

died of a fatal heart attack, with marijuana in his system,

he will be missed, but not remembered or spoke highly of,

since he made worng choices, were all those puffs worth it?

4/19/10 Things to Say, Places to Fall

Why do I always fall for the head cases, the spoiled rotten _____,

never learn my lesson, and my heart is always bested,

no need to keep this a small deal, make it nice and festive,

I always go head over heels for your type, it is getting me hectic.

Now you have moved on, for the "only one who was there,"

how can you say that to me, how can you expect my life with you to at all share,

leave me like the 16th, show me how little you care,

but do not complain when I change, it just isn't fair.

Now I am gaga over this curly haired girl, that much I know is true,

but prior experience has shown me, never to believe in people like you,

not saying you are horrible, sorry if that came off as rude,

I am simply saying I have fallen for you, and your team I should have booed.

How can I go on so normally, when I look forward to hearing from you,

and each day I long to tell you, then wimp out, I get high, I flew,

when I stayed grounded on Earth, my feelings for you, they grew,

when can that barricade be demolished, so you and I can begin brand new?

4/21/10 Just Walk By

Falling apart like Mr. Potato head, all started with a frown,

saw the happiness in the blunt, reached out only for my arms to fall to the ground,

went to walk over to them, just for feet to disconnect,

here come all my closest friends, this is perfect.

Yet none do stop, they all do not even try,

why won't they stop, why do they all just walk by?

all I need is that feeling, I need to be on cloud nine,

finally do something I haven't in weeks, as I start to cry.

Only one does stop then, and boy do I feel had,

when all he says to me, is your choices have been bad,

then she walks by, and just like our resolution,

she kisses me on the lips, as she offers me the off limits solution.

After them none stopped, no one else even bothered to try,

so I laid there by myself, and all I did was cry,

all this just for a feeling, all this loss just to get high,

why did she kiss me, why didn't she just walk by?

4/22/10 You Be the Anchor Keeping my Feet on the Ground

My ship has finally decided to stop, never has it felt this way before,

please catch this rowboat, and your hands catch my rope,

let your sand be durable enough, to hold the anchor in place,

for I wish to only stay where you are, and where you go I surely will be.

I fall off my vessel, and end up washed up on your shore,

I felt as if death were closing in, but still I withheld a slither of hope,

made footprints I am sure of it, yet behind me they are all erased,

my eyes and faith have left me, so you are the one I long to use my other four senses for.

You pop up on my horizon, and quickly I begin to see,

we are running opposite directions, yet when I am stationary you cry,

so no matter how pained my knees will be, I will always reach out to you,

all from just one smile of yours, I finally reach your shoulders and pull.

We plant some resolutions on each other, then pause in between,

I stare you in the eyes, my sight returns as beautiful is all I see,

never have I ever felt this warmth, from a person rather than a liquor,

I wish for you to be my port, and be the anchor keeping my feet on the ground.

4/22/10 I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds

Before I left for California, I was afraid I felt for you wrong,

thought it was to stay in her head, but it is much more true that,

let me in you life, make it yours to share,

as long as you keep me grounded, I'll keep you heart in the air.

In the past I never really noticed, for I only had a friendly reason to care,

but once I looked you in the eyes, I knew something was there,

whenever I type a joke, whenever I have a story to share,

it is you I turn to first, as out of your face I move your hair.

Just like on New Years, when I wiped away your tears,

we both have urges, why turn them into fears,

my feelings for you are more than friendly, that I will say out loud,

as long as your my anchor, I'll be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds.

pages 140 - 149

2010-05-24T14:30:00.002-04:00

3/29/10 (CA) Soon

You are my highway, you are my road out of this deep sadness,

you are the gas that pushes me, the steering wheel that turns me in the right directions,

you are the engine check light, that tells me when something is not right,

you are my brake pad, that helps me slow down so I do not hit any walls.

Long and tiresome my road has been, and I do not know which way I will turn,

soon I will get the courage, and talk to you about what I want to every time,

soon I will be able to tell you, that something between us can happen,

it is not so bad as long as the two of us, feel the way we tell each other.

Still worried that if I do speak up, we will no longer talk,

my car will break down, and I will be forced to roam the road alone,

although I do have friends, they are more like cars that stop to hitch hike,

I am just too worried about the outcome, soon I will get the confidence to speak up,

soon...

3/29/10 (CA) No Picture Can Do

No amount of pictures, can do California any justice,

beauty and tranquility, can never be represented in a picture,

this trip is exactly what I needed, finally my waters have calmed,

and I can venture out into open sea, as I look for my next port.

The weather is perfectly warm, the surroundings are kind to the eyes,

the tender noises, are everything you do not hear in the Big Apple,

now I may be a New Yorker at heart, but I am enjoying Cali,

the sweet aroma it produces, and natures alarm clock at 9am.

Sure I will take photos, and try my best to show its awe,

I still will not be able to show, how calm it can make a man,

I have 9 days left here, and I will make the best of this time,

because I fear how I will feel, when I return to the City.

4/2/10 (CA) Thought Excursions

I am going soberly insane, no matter how many Cali girls I meet,

no matter how far I try to walk, I still end up with pain on my feet,

I sit on this patio, while it is raining and there is a chill,

I need to get twisted or buzzed, but never will I take a pill.

Only certain people know me, and out of those only one is on my mind,

she is my off limits girl, but it is hard to not call a diamond a find,

friends tell me to speak up, before my head expands and pops,

still the fear of telling you, is that our friendship will stop.

Somehow you found the courage, to tell me you felt the same way,

but how can I tell you how I feel, when I can not find the words to say,

every muscle must be exercised, and you work out my heart,

wish we could finally be, I know there will never be a start.

4/2/10 (CA) My Heart Is In You

It is like before New Years, my life was never lived,

I never could walk on streaming water, only tread,

so much was missing in my life, now what am I to do,

when I can safely say, these strong feelings for you are true.

You are keeping me alive, and never will I know why this way I feel,

but deep down I know it is right, my outer shell has peeled,

I will always hold you up, and you will always do the same,

how can you tell me those words, and expect me to be tame.

I still picture the top of the stairs, and you were my girl,

never will I forget, how it felt to momentarily fall into your world,

my heart is in you, no matter how much or little you say,

for now I will sit back, and keep these feelings at bay.

4/5/10 (CA) Still Think of You

All this seems strange, all this still feels unbelievable,

I can not believe what has occurred, and the changes we have both made,

I wish to know when we both felt, we should separate further and further,

I want to know when you decided, my love was a game to be played.

Still I think of you, and worry you will get hurt,

but you do not even give me a second glance, as you or I walk away,

yet I will still fight to not look back, it is hard with an angel like you,

even if you are presently my demon, I will wait for that side to be slayed.

I will walk longer and longer, to keep you out of my mind,

I do not care if my feet bleed, it is them or my heart,

still I think of you, and i miss having that comfortable home,

the more I spend away, only makes me miss that part.

4/5/10 (CA) Lost Without A Trace

Another day, maybe some other way we could be,

but how am I supposed to find you, when I am lost myself,

I take a sip of golden dreams, and hold on for dear life,

holding on for anything, reaching out for anyone who will grab hold.

I can not remember anything, I choose to lose my face,

forget about the old Renato, time to start fresh,

I must begin anew, find myself deep under all the beer cans,

underneath all the shots, and through all the smoke.

I try to remember, what I was digging for underneath all the rubble,

and I forget, just start climbing back up,

hit a couple _____, knock back a couple jigger shots,

sip a few 6 packs, and I am lost without a trace again.

4/12/10 Food For the Uneducated & Dependant

Love is a silly game where nobody ever wins, where is the fun with that?

both the individuals feel good, simply to be put in a fog that is black,

power lies with the person who cares less, they can overpower any partner,

put that contract into the shredder, you must not have read the hidden offer.

Why does everyone either wham bam or thank the mam, what happened to having fun?

well you want fun, then hit that green sticky carousel,

start feeling warmth in your body, nothing makes a sound,

until that cloud fell,

need warmth and confidence, start ponging and give it two games,

then you will be falsely accused of confidence, and get all the dames.

Hit that Britney or Jimi, best be kissing DragonBreath,

first use that 3 leveler, and know I keep the dust,

need a big order, my card dealer is the best,

and never again will you be sad, that is a huge must.

4/12/10 With Every Line

With every compliment, I grow closer to telling you the truth,

I wish to start a life in the circus, and be the New Years kissing booth,

for you would be my customer, and I would not need the alcohol,

and even if I lose my balance, to you I would crawl.

With every line, that I fill with you in mind,

I find myself pushing away from the gate, as I put my last arrival far behind,

and I wish for us to be, I want the warmth your hug produces,

you would be my number one, never in the category of deuces.

With every enter key I hit, as our conversation starts to get deep,

one of these summer days, I will learn to make a peep,

and meet you sober minded, to prove my feelings to be true,

I have thought about one person since the ending of 09, and that girl happens to be you.

4/12/10 Got A Lot Of Questions

Got a lot of friends, that I did not know before I had you,

I constantly spend my weekend with them, as bad habits take over,

do alot of shit during those parties, and barely have the need to remember any of them,

what am I doing? What happened to my good morals?

Oh that is right, I am finally doing Renato,

finally have all the time, that I will spend thinking of the old me,

when I should really jump over this obstacle, I choose to sit in the gap,

why have any cares or worries, I am my own world.

I constantly fear the damage, that my habits will one day do,

I have no clue what my future is, and I used to have clues,

now it is set to getting over that last speed bump, even though I see the horizon,

I have a vision of her hair, and i know I must stay in between as long as I can.

4/13/10 I Feel Like Dying

I am laying in my bed, smoke suffocating my lounges,

DragonBreath spitting out the last of the fire, as I hit him one last time,

and once I get that feeling, I feel like I can do anything,

down 10 jiggers, still I feel like the impossible is real.

Put on some music, and listen to whatever plays on shuffle,

it is my cyph life, welcome to Renato's world,

come on girl just give it a shot, who knows maybe you will like it,

fly this kush carpet, as we fly above all our problems.

Then everyone leaves, and I lay alone in the fog,

forget ventilation, time to get the Fire Department to arrive,

and I begin to think of you, so I send you a text,

and we talk as I begin to land, and the lower I get the more I feel like dying.

pages 138 - 139

2010-05-20T04:01:00.002-04:00

3/29/10 I Know A Place

Just tell me that you feel for me, and I know a place we can go,

there is a lot I wish to tell you, even more I long to show,

feels wrong to deny liking someone, all because of one persons feelings,

only advice I have been given, is speak up during our hearings.

Fear keeps me from swinging, and I do not want to ruin our friendship,

but how can I keep walking, when you seem to be my hip,

the way we feel for one another, will only grow with age,

it is better to release these emotions, than to keep them caged.

In my dreams, it is always New Years,

never will I get sick of them, so I pour a shot and say cheers,

I will respect your decision, of "nothing at the present can happen,"

and look towards the future, as my life I will start mapping.

3/29/10 Wish Upon A Star

I wish,

I could,

freeze time,

and I would go back and make it New Years over and over again,

so we could continuously share that moment,

and every morning I would wake up,

knowing that you and I would connect,

and finally everything will be right in my life.

pages 136 - 137 (CA Poems)

2010-05-15T04:59:00.002-04:00

3/27/10 (CA) Man, If Only
If only we could be, boy that will be the day,
finally a smile will be imprinted on my face, and being sad is something i will never say,
open up that door, usually you would be able to see,
but it is too foggy, with a note on the door that says welcome to mystery.
You are that place I wish, that I could one day escape to,
the feelings between us are there, that much I know is true,
but imagine a time when anything can happen, feels like more than it seems,
well just know that that time, is usually the period in which I dream.
We may be 3 hours apart, and lifetimes separated,
but still I think of you, that can never be debated,
at least Cali is showing me, I am better without that girl,
and there is so much I can accomplish, if I put my mind to it I can have the world.
But why do I feel this way for you, I truly do not know,
all I know is that last conversation, was enough to help it grow,
so I may be respectable, but soon this will be too much,
crazy how much I miss New Years, and long for an intoxicated touch.

3/27/10 (CA) Thoughts in My Mind
New years,
drives out what is deep inside of me,
pushes out urges that I should not be afraid of,
drinks away the night and steals me away upstairs,
as beautiful as a sweet melody with strong verses and a chilling chorus,
as desirable as any person I have ever liked this way,
kissing may have been a mistake but I believe everything happens for a reason,
softening,
my mind with close friendship and my heart with hopes for the future.

pages 131 - 135 (to make up for the lack of posts)

2010-05-09T17:54:00.003-04:00

3/18/10 Faded Memories
Mind doesn't seem to remember, much of what it used to,
when I get that pass, puff puff exhale,
seem to forget even more, feel like sitting on my cloud.
bridges ignite, as soon as I scratch the match,
or click the lighter, place it on the green,
and take off, on that short road.
Come down off that towering state, start sinking lower,
until the time when, I am out of my body,
realize life is simple, nothing more than a pop up book.
I can try to flip my pages, and always end up paper cut,
edges are too sharp, can not figure out how to proceed,
so I just stare at the same, chapter of my life.
Land back in my body, safe and sound,
memories begin to return, become that itch in my mind,
no matter how much I try, it is always our memories.

3/19/10 Words Take Flight
Bringing back the old days, just so I no longer need our happy ones,
getting the crew back, coming back into that trio,
getting high, just to block out all the shit in my life,
may listen to how stupid it is, but still my words will take flight.
Starting to lose a lot, my mind, old choices, even weight,
but the one thing that seems to stick, are the memories,
they slowly begin to consume me, so I consume liquor,
and for every cause is an effect, but fuck it, my hearts dead.
One week away from going out west, I feel it is for the best,
maybe i should not return in April, what if I decide to stay,
as long as you get hurt and fucked over, I will be happy,
do not mean to be such an ass, but why would I care?

3/22/10 TV Show Life
Trust me like a TV show, like a best friend believe her,
I am like a sitcom, just leave it to me like beaver,
just let us make that connection, like metal rarely bends,
we can have an ensemble, like the cast of friends,
never have you ever, baby come on hit these dubs,
give you mental voices, hallucinations like Braff in Scrubs,
turn you yellow, pile that paint down through rain in tons,
make your life sick and humorous like that of the Simpsons,
and maybe fill your life with joy, and some missing fun,
treat me right, it will be everybodies love at first Raymond.
But fill me with your junk food, tater tots can shatter,
I will make you unapproachable, like urkel in Family Matters,
and shit may end, threes company dead, leave you with no hope ors,
idea of where to go, so you keep going like the Ropers,
leave you crying, not feeling shit, all goods no bads,
have you confused like the faimly, in My Two Dads,
sure we may have had an up there commercial, high like Big Ben,
but babe we had a run like 8, just like Cavemen,
never phase me, high flying my space hoopty, red eyes, red face,
flying towards that never ending green, fly like Homeboys in Outer Space.

3/23/10 Heavy Wallet
Listen to me as I decide to tell the truth,
I was way too good to you even though you were a youth,
I am about to pop my top, knock my noggin on the ceiling,
I would rather be nasty than have you walk all over my feelings.
,
,
and since I was always giving, yet never seemed enough,
I am changing your name in my phone book, to "Do Not Pick Up."
I am beginning to fix that hole, where you let the rain in,
I am always going to be nice, even though guys like me never win,
life is tough, but like a big pill I learn to swallow it,
in the end it is all about that green, and life only amounts to the weight of your wallet.

3/24/10 I Am A Bad Apple
Here is the deal, i run my life as I want to run it,
I cyph whenever I get a chance, but that should not be any of your business,
I get depressed at random moments, but that is what the cyph is for,
I would not consider myself a pothead, but it comes down to that in the end.
I drink whenever I get a chance, because I need some type of warmth,
ever since you left, there has been an overcoming chill inside of me,
no one filled out my warranty, so I am stuck in this body.
If you do not like my lifestyle, well you already proved that you do not,
here is a hint, you have become everything I hate,
I hate the way you look, I hate your fake kool aid smile,
I hate your laugh, and I hate seeing you every day of the week.
I can not believe I spent 4 years with you, when each day I was pretending to be someone I am not,
thank god one of us grew balls and ended it, or i would have completely changed who I am,
I am a drinker, now add to that a pothead,
I am a complete ass when I need to be, so girls like you do not walk all over me,
so look at the person you have unleashed, you awoke the sleeping giant inside of me,
and i hate that you let me be someone I am not, you are a selfish bitch.

pages 129 - 130

2010-05-03T04:22:00.002-04:00

3/10/10 Always Looking Up At A Window
I miss you so much, the pain still stabs deep within my soul,
without you these past 6 months, I have yet to be whole,
but that part that was vacated, when you vacated your throne,
has slowly started to be filled up by me, as I recreate a new home.
I continue to tell myself, what does not kill only makes me stronger,
but it is hard to repeat it so much, these days all seem longer,
wish nothing but the best for you, no matter how much I will cry,
all I need to tell myself, is everything happens for a reason, concluded with a sigh.
Girl I wish I were your personal weather, your predictions will seem ok,
and when I rained on you, I would be the talk of your day,
and those drops of water, would drip down and hit my toes,
for I would always stop, and glance up at your window.
It is a whole new point of view, being on the other side of that glass,
how badly I want your love gone from me, I yearn for the day it does pass,
no matter what I tell myself, my love for you was and is true,
no matter how beautiful I wish to tell you you are, I simply can not miss you.

3/15/10 Only Once Its Passed
Only once that high has passed, and that rented happiness is returned,
I feel like crying, want to just roll up and sleep forever,
once that confidence is empty, i feel like buying.
Only once that green is done, and my mind has lost its fog,
I think straight, and baby I feel less without you,
take a swig of bacardi, and suddenly the ground turns to flowers.
Roses are now blue, violets scarlet red,
forget about the daisies, since the flowers are now dead,
wish I could give you this feeling, you would feel like dying.
Bought me from the supermarket, drank me for a while,
then I became empty, so what need do you have of me anymore,
only once the drugs are done, I feel like dying.

pages 127 - 128

2010-04-29T17:11:00.002-04:00

3/9/10 Fry At the Bottom
What am I supposed to do, with all these leftover feelings,
because I do not know, and I do not even know if they are true,
how should I separate the lies, from what I always thought was the truth,
how did we fall asleep in love, and wake up in this nightmare.
I am the fry at the bottom, but there is only one problem,
instead of consuming me like always, you throw me away with the wrappings,
such a rarity, to throw away something so golden,
but your adolescence, proves to be your weakness.
Months have passed, everyone still asks me the same questions,
and the answer continuously changes, as the pain proves to be too much,
where did I go wrong, must I now be freed from your prison,
only mark is the tear, that lands in the bag with the fry at the bottom.

3/9/10 Where Has It Gone?
Laughter,
full of life,
contagious,
hurting,
fooling,
fading,
need it now more than ever,
lost.

3/9/10 Must I Say It?
Because you are who you are,
because we are so comfy around each other,
because you run through my mind enough for me to never forget you,
because it is something that can not happen,
because I do wish we could be together someday,
I have too many feelings for you.

3/9/10 Our Shoebox
It sits there, under my bed where it always seems too cold,
houses all the memories of when we were still my dream come true,
should be in a dumpster turning to ashes but I can not let it go,
instead it chooses to ensure the lower part of my room has a chill to it,
still it is the last I have of us and I do not wish to wake up from the dream yet.

pages 125 - 126

2010-04-28T00:13:00.002-04:00

3/4/10 Friends + Heartbreak = Salvation
Without friends, all would be lost,
an army of headbangers, lovers and workers,
just like good health, friendship is taken for granted,
until that comfort is lost.
Like dots, it takes a bunch to see the bigger picture,
grouped together they make the pointillist view,
take away a small amount of friends,
and you can see through to the painting behind.
They will walk in, when everyone else walks out,
they will make you happy, pass you that high,
never wish to walk a lonely road, for if you become lost,
who will know you are missing?
Even with the heartbreak, friends make me happy,
will not walk in front of me,
will not follow behind me,
friends will walk alongside you, be my friend,
take me to my salvation.

3/9/10 A Moment to Myself
Chained me to the bottom of a hole, tears making the water rise,
soon I will drown in my own sorrow, and love will be my demise,
that is the story of my life, ever since our fairy tale ended,
signed my heart over to you, and my love was fake while you pretended.
I used to think I had sight, turns out I have been blind.
used to have thoughts, now I seem to have misplaced my mind,
once had a voice, now I have been suppressed,
thought I had hit the jackpot, but like always I guessed.
Now when I get hurt, and it is you that I think of,
all I need is quiet, to tell myself what is to love,
out of all the good, it is common to equal with bad,
but you have the sinful imbalance, and I have been had.
Time should heal all wounds, but all it has done is give me loneliness,
my head hurts from all the thinking, when will I pass this test?
All I need, is a moment to myself,
our memories are now dust covered books, my mind being the shelf,
the ways I used to think of us, walking down the aisle,
now seem to be the aisles in grocery stores, why wouldn't I smile?

pages 123 - 124

2010-04-26T00:50:00.003-04:00

2/26/10 If You Ever Get the Feeling
Put that liquid down, understand the truth while in sober mind,
I can not truly say when the wheel will stop, wish life were so kind,
you finally did yourself some good, it is ok to still miss him,
but do not be in denial, chances of getting out alive then become slim.
You can move on, you are too good a person to be hurt,
go out and find someone who solely wants you, do not be treated like dirt,
you had the ball in your court, put an end to it all, make it all over,
hit the buzzer beater, and now with yourself become closer.
I can not say I really blame you, for being bold in the beginning,
and now wishing it went differently, even when you are winning,
instead of outlining yourself, instead of grabbing translucent and tracing,
know that hard times lay ahead, you now go up against what I have been facing.

3/4/10 Lost in the Love
No one will love you like I do,
love you like I truly do,
never to be the same again,
memories never to fade away.
I was a virgin to love,
and the making that ensues,
must I choose, I am sure to lose,
lost in your wilderness,
no sense of north or south.
Backtracking through my footprints in the snow,
somewhere along the way,
the pair I was parallel with,
simply swerved to the right.
I have paid for my mistakes, I have paid for my choice,
I am a tree that falls with no one around,
does it even matter if I make a noise?
I am lost in unrequited love,
never to be found.

pages 121 - 122

2010-04-24T02:34:00.002-04:00

2/22/10 The Hurt
This hurts more than i can tell, in just one sitting,
never thought you would be my pain, since you were the one quitting,
for you will always be with me, in my heart it holds you like a backpack,
but if we ever click again, I will not go to you, we are too far gone to ever go back.
Without you I am cold, I always seem to shiver,
we may have parted ways a while ago, just like water in a river,
we will re meet at the ocean, something I will move towards,
but something dammed up my water way, I can not push through and move forward.
It is hard to be content, when sadness is all I feel,
how can I look back on the "good times," when none of them were real,
just how much was true, tell me for old times sake,
looked at old pictures of us smiling, I can not help but think it was fake.
To me what we had was my priority, but I was only your option,
why would you blind side me, make love as an obligation,
it is not my fault, my emotions relax on my shirt,
I have not been sober happy in months, thanks for the hurt.

2/24/10 Real From My Dreams
I always thought words would be enough, throw in a little effort and maybe you would never leave,
my dreams never seemed to be made of real things, whip out that ace I had up my sleeve,
love is the reason for many of the things I choose to do, they are all from my heart,
that would explain why I have been so heartsick, and why love has always seemed so hard.
I know all of our moments, will find a way into my dreams tonight,
then I know they will disappear, once my window greets with sunlight,
but if somehow my dreams, could find a way into my realm of reality,
I would be all for impersonation, just for a taste of sweet in between.
Soon I will be leaving, I can not stay in a place I would rather be sending a postcard,
worn out from the songs I sing, they all take too much out of my heart,
friends know what I mean, I wish for the real from my dreams,
tired of doing the same routine, when for years with you life was more than it seems.

pages 119 - 120

2010-04-22T03:14:00.002-04:00

2/6/10 With No Start, I Wouldn't Be Falling Apart
I miss the sound of you voice, and the touch of your skin,
the little moments we had together, were so quick to end,
now the time we speak civilly, is simply temporary,
as you move forward in life, I stand stationary.
I can not take it, this sorrow has become the norm in my life,
alcohol don't seem to do anymore, can not even enjoy the cyph,
because I was waiting for a girl like you, for so many years,
you made me want to make something of myself, now you put me in tears.
I need someone to calm the storm, that is ravaging through my mind,
a girl who will keep me in line, and you were the perfect kind,
that night you left me, I could feel the color running from my face,
as my whole life went downhill, and I wanted out of this place.
Like unemployment, my heart is vacant, and I am back of the line,
love made me sign a contract, had more print that was type fine,
wish I would have thought, before I put myself completely in,
for if nothing ever started, nothing would have had to end.

2/9/10 Daily Happenings
Why should he get to hold you, why does he get to kiss you,
why must I be the one who daily thinks of you, why must I daily miss you,
why must I picture you dancing, or sitting in your computer chair,
why must I fight not to see you, why must I act like i do not care?
Why must I work where you live, and always catch glance of your window,
why must Valentines day be upsetting, since now i am flying solo,
why cant you never smile at me, kills me with its beauty,
I hate that I need your embrace, wish loving you was once again my duty.
you left and I got freedom, you simply got happiness,
not my fault redo is in there with an extra e, never to happen to me again is my wish,
this pain I do not want to bare again, it is crippling and too much,
I continuously look for love in all the wrong places, I am sick of beating around the bush.
Every morning feels like rain, falling into New York City's light,
a daily tear I shed for you, with every passing night,
breathing heavy with each step I take, my emotions like waves that always crash,
my time is wasting away, as my sadness beats at my hour glass.

pages 115 - 118

2010-04-16T07:07:00.002-04:00

1/22/10 Heartfelt Departure
What goes down, always must come back up,
what is wrong, with seeing the half full cup?
Broken hearts, are constantly pleading,
that the person they completely love, will not soon be leaving.
Somewhere out in the world, a person is presently crying,
a couple is now over, a lover continues her lying,
a cheater is rethinking, the backstabber starts her smiling,
the deaths continue to add up, like garbage it has started piling.
To me you are the thief, and my heart has been stolen,
the night you said goodbye, my tongue was painfully swollen,
I see you now as a selfish ugly person, my heart you continuously shattered,
you are the sole person who proved, that love must have never mattered.

2/4/10 Just In Case You'd Like to Know
I am tired of being bullied, by the person I used to love,
emotionally I am drained, barely find enough of me to be proud of,
it hurts to know I must listen, even when I wish I did not hear,
that you are much happier without me, forgetting is soon to appear.
It is not you that I miss anymore, it is me when I was happy,
the way I walk around now, with no warmth, constantly feeling crappy,
and the problem is not, that love is above all else,
it is that you never loved me, and like a book I was put back on your shelf.
You are not the number two, on my speed dial I fell in love with,
everyone else has moved up, sad to say you are not even my fifth,
I did not wish to see you, on the 30th of last or the 14th of this,
never again will I let you, reel me in and touch these lips.
For you were someone to share, which means you were not unique,
it means nothing was ever there, I was nothing more than your antique,
you played me like Nascar, since you always left,
who do I call, when there has been a love theft.
I hope you soon realize, you were not just some girl to me,
you were the girl, on that I will always agree,
but what we had is dead, so take down all the pictures,
the memories of what has conspired is too much, in my mind it is a fixture.
Yet still to this day, no other girl will go ahead of you,
until I find the woman I need, that will continue to be true,
now I know enough choices, but not which to pick,
I called the witch doctor, and he declared me heartsick.
I would rather walk home crying, because I could not talk to you,
it is much better than crying, because we talked and all we did was argue,
I am tired of being sad, not for one but for the both of us,
it is hard to want to be friends, when you have destroyed any trust.
Just in case you would like to know, I do not know how to deal with this pain,
never before have I loved someone as much as you, and never has it left me so insane,
who was I, where have I been,
I would say you I do not regret, but to lie is to sin.
Just in case you need to know, I had to lie about that girl, it is true,
for how else can I convince myself, to ever get over you,
I may have lied to you before, but now there are no more excuses,
the tale that was recently told, was as big as the hurt it produces.

2/5/10 Nobody Wins When Everyone's Losing
Never was enough when i messed up, for me to say sorry,
open a new book with every little lie, and you always ended the story,
never quite hit the mark, every time I said I care,
when I called you unique, it was like the thrift shop, someone to share.
Too much loving, with not enough fun,
is the recipe for heartbreak, and love to become undone,
for your knots always seemed too strong, never did I think they would wither,
and all it took was your selfishness, to become the scissor.
I wish to quit the heartbreaks, I am sick of always choosing,
how can anyone win, when everyone is losing,
passed over our bridge, paid more than simple fees,
now I am left broken, and songs are my only memories.

pages 113 - 114

2010-04-13T01:26:00.002-04:00

1/21/10 Nothing but a Dream
You were the scissors in my life, only there to cut the thread,
that keeps me parallel to sadness, now there are zig zags up ahead.
I no longer intertwine, and it is extremely difficult to see,
the man who used to be happy, that man who used to be me.
Love always ends up bad, because there is never a spare,
there are no third wheel love triangles, only a beautiful pair.
It is hard to hear my thoughts, when I can not find my heart beat,
and nothing seems to feel the same, I miss the taste of sweet.
There is no excitement in my life, I long to find a spark,
it sucks that love has scarred my heart, and left more than a mark.
Girl we were so happy, we trusted each other, we were so close,
we started off so slowly, but we proved that love truly grows.
But from going comes decline, of my poor self esteem,
now I look back at the two if us, and it seems like nothing but a dream.

1/22/10 Long for No More Goodbyes
It took a bunch of arguing, to drown my face in tears,
I still can not think our current situation, it truly is my biggest fear.
I must make this long walk, alone and on my own two feet,
I long for the day our roads again intertwine, it will be the greatest meet.
At least you had some pity, and did not use the words "we are done,"
why must the "one" help spell, the ending of undone.
I honestly do not know, if I would want us to reunite,
you have poured too much water on our fire, now it refuses to reignite.
I need to take it easy, and use what I am given,
the happiness should make me move forward, and always keep me driven.
I have never felt so incomplete, ever since we have been apart,
I lost the biggest part of me, on that night you did depart.
The love I had is shrinking, this is a painful fact I know,
I wish I could go back, to the time it started to grow.
Sick and tired of heartbreak, so angry with all the goodbyes,
I long for my face to stay dry, and I am sick of the water in my eyes.

pages 111 - 112

2010-04-10T13:35:00.002-04:00

1/19/10 Love Played Me Like A Fool
What we had, I can not believe it changed,
it was usually from you to me, but now I can take the blame,
I hate that you hurt me, and filled me with so much shame,
and that you played me like skee ball, nothing but a game.
On the sunniest day, I could still feel rain,
the pain in my heart is too much, so some has gone to my brain,
this agonizing soreness is all you, you finally get all the blame,
I hope you have a good life, and in the end get nothing to gain.
You stole cupids bow and arrow, made it a fatal weapon to aim,
show me in the heart, and quickly began your claim,
it was my real life fairy tale, you were the beautiful dame,
and I was the prince, with the love from all, the fame.
You took away my weapons, and we connected into a flame,
but you blew out that fire, and my happiness you maimed,
now everytime I see you, or someone out loud says your name,
I need to take a deep breath, and somehow learn to tame.
Now I am left in the gutter, heart broken is what I became,
and the love of my life has no face, and needs to be renamed,
from Stacey to whomever, it will be a painful exchange,
I wish to sleep all my life, and for you, to always stay the same.
Need to think of you and see ugly, even though that means I am thinking insane,
it is better than the hits I take, anything but this pain,
I was thrown on the floor like you clothes, easily forgotten when you have changed,
the sad part of this whole experience is, you treat love as a game.

1/21/10 No More Destination
There is always going to be something, that I somehow fail to know,
but the worst was the realization, that you truly wanted to go.
I never could have imagined, that you and I were destiny,
yet the second I began to believe it, we automatically ceased to be.
Sick of all the heartbreak, sick of all the mind games,
you never will know how bad this hurts, until you have felt all this pain.
But I knew somehow I still love you, even after what you have put me through,
I would never have it any other way, even though there is nothing left to do.
It has been months and months, add on a whole lot of days,
and I still think of ways for us to be fixed, there seems to be so many ways.
You used me like a chess piece, move one space forward to spare your pawn,
and let your selfishness knock me over, and from the chess board I am forever gone.
There is only one more request, one more reason for me to say please,
I wish we could talk like we used to, and for there to finally be some peace.
I can take this cut, you hurt me and fill me with frustration,
my GPS no longer detects you, and I lost any future destination.

pages 109 - 110

2010-03-24T13:09:00.003-04:00

1/16/10 3 AM Poetry
The simplest poetry, where misspelled words seem so right,
you can close your eyes and fantasize, as your sentences take flight,
it is the late night composing, where you let your feelings be shared,
you were not there when I needed you, which shows how little you cared.
3 AM poetry is the top notch best, where you can do all your love seeking,
you can think all night long, as your destiny starts peeking,
your life seems so simple, you can completely control,
you use your best goggles, to see into your foggy soul.
So many things I learn, so many to soon know,
I need to find myself, at least this I know,
for when I figure out who I am, this storm I will learn to solely weather,
for when we are in each others company, I am sick of seeing our shadows together.

1/19/10 Just Stop
It has been so long, and I simply still can not forget,
tell me what we had was real, or if it is all just regrets,
for what you have done to my heart, no one else could do,
for the only one who will ever own it, from the first day was you.
I wish I could go back a year, so I can feel the "real" we had,
now I can barely talk to you, and the situation is going bad,
at least New Years was a night, in public I put it all to chance,
and with you it was perfect, which is why I decided to dance.
From the start of the best, with the wahs huhs and whys,
to the ending on the phone, with all the tears in my eyes,
to the things we did together, never getting in each others way,
I now have nothing felt but depression, and my very own D Day.
When we started was foolish, I never knew it to be fate,
love should only grow stronger, but apparently "yours" does abate,
questioning what we had, and it it was ever even real,
and if false pretense is the case, then my heart you did steal.
My days seem less important, my parties simply will never do,
when every single second, is spent without you,
just like playing pool, you were the stick and me the cue,
but it took an "angel" like you, to make love feel less true.
The only thing that heals a cut so deep, is everlasting time,
but how long do I have to wait, for true love to be mine,
that last item you have, is my property, my heart,
now give it back, you are too ungrateful, let the healing start.

pages 107 - 108

2010-03-23T16:33:00.002-04:00

1/13/10 What Am I Doing?
There is a lot I do not yet know, much still for me to learn,
hard to think I will forget you, while my wheels continue to turn,
all the liquor stores are closed, so I figure I will just lay in dark,
close my eyes to light, as the thought of you is the brightest spark.
Gets me down that we must always stay, as the closest of friends,
even though we spoke the intoxicated truth, your metal refuses to bend,
but that one shared moment, was enough to cause an emotional accident,
really wish I never felt this way, feel like dollar bills, way too spent.
I hate that this happened, this is the worst possible scam,
I hate realizing I am Jim, and you seem to be my Pam,
I know the right from the wrong, know everyone learns from their mistakes,
but it is hard to think us wrong, when I know that nothing was fake.

1/13/10 Everytime
Everytime you turn away, and say bye without a care,
you rip a part of my heart, and take a piece of me with you there,
you may still be able to knock out my lights, and you seem to always leave me crying,
I will still find a way to be happy, and my lights will start shining.
Everytime we argue, you always seem to win,
I am always the one apologizing, since there is still a piece of you under my skin,
please come back to me, I can barely stand on my own two feet,
it figures you were my bike stand, and I need you back to ever feel complete.
Just like chemistry, everytime I get close it seems too right,
no matter how painful your beauty is, I will always think of you at night,
everytime I see the stars, I wish they were through a different window,
I hate myself for allowing it to happen over the phone, and for simply just letting you go.

pages 105 - 106

2010-03-18T02:34:00.002-04:00

1/7/10 Day Dreaming Confusion
The quarter has been flipped, as my eyes slowly find you,
it may be heads or tails to your eyes, but to me it is nothing new.
It lands on heads, as we grab each others hands,
and we walk along the bleachers, just as the fans all stand.
I wake up from the dream, in shock that the fantasy is gone,
how crazy was I to trust a beginner of love, and to think I somehow belonged.
I try to pass you and ignore you, every single day,
what is the point of small talk, we have nothing left to say.
Your heart seems iced over, your faucet has turned colder,
I wish I had a plan in life, I continue to get scared as I get older.
You tell me to be happy, and find someone to mend the pain,
but the one who can do it, can not be, just trust these words I am saying.
I dislike myself for that thought, and it fills me with more pain too,
I long to tell my dream girl, in the end it is always you.
Yet what do I expect her to say, I am just another guy,
for just like our kiss of resolution, that time has already passed by.
If only there were true justice, if only the bad side of me,
would never want to party hard again, and for that half to cease to be.
New Years helped me realize who I dream of, but I wish to go back before,
I do not want to know it is you, I do not want this hurt anymore.
I am sure if I were to ever tell you, all you would ask is why?
"I can tell that I just hurt you," yeah you did but what is another cry?
It is annoying to dream of you, and what we could have had,
that life is another universe, one in which I am no longer sad.
Even though I was drunk, and flying like a kite so high,
I want you to know if you ever feel lonely, I will always be your guy.
I know these lines will stick in your mind, and I know you will read these words,
I know I told you everything even though you do not remember, a single thing you heard.
I told you how much I think of you, and what we could sometime in the future be,
and I told you I wished us differently, and I wished your feelings were strong for me.
You are the sole person who surpasses my number one, now I will need to find,
that someone who can surpass the two of you, even if it takes the whole of my lifetime.

pages 103-104

2010-03-05T01:46:00.002-05:00

12/31/09 - 1/1/10 Three Cheers for New Years
Life throws you curveballs, some that seem impossible to hit,
but sometimes you gotta put the square in the circle, even when it seems it will not fit,
I swung at my own screwball, and on New Years it was a miss,
three cheers for New Years, and for the girl I kissed.
It honestly does seem wrong, but still I feel your touch,
I know I will forever hate myself, and it will never seem too much,
but you looked so beautiful in 09, and in 2010 you looked amazing,
so I stared you in the eyes, and made sure you heard what I was saying.
The second we connected, I wished our lives were intertwined,
and as we paused between the kisses, I wished that you were mine,
you mean too much to me, which is why I will never speak,
of the confessions we told each other, and the goodbye kiss on the cheek.
Sometimes life throws you curveballs, and you taught me to always swing,
because even if I am missing, watching it pass by is not my thing,
and honestly who knows, we will always keep in touch,
and whenever one of us is emotionally crippled, the other will always be their crutch.

1/6/10 Surprise Down the Street
I was once in love, with a girl who seemed so sweet,
felt so strongly about her, I even moved right down the street.
But this love was more like a casino, far more play than fair share,
your cards make papercuts, and my heart is stabbed by your stare.
Yet I still manage to find someone, who always makes me warm,
I never feel fake around her, and I more than adore her charm.
She is so beautiful, and never to me has she not been nice,
she will always come to me, whenever she needs guy advice.
New years was the night, I still wish I knew the way,
back into your lip locking embrace, and to rewind back to that day.
Life is so confusing, but it seems I found a secret treat,
and it is funny that in the end, from you I am still down the street.

pages 101-102

2010-03-03T02:57:00.002-05:00

12/22/09 Still Need You
A broken heart, the crying is the sound,
jump off a high cliff, hoping to soon hit the ground,
my life was like Nascar, but I could never get it right,
but with 5 laps still to go, I will push with all my might.
Because when it comes to racing for love, I am the tortoise, not the hare,
I give more than I receive, for me love is about the share,
but seeing you now, long after you did depart,
brings me down to earth, as you stare daggers through my heart.
You truly do fill me with pain, when before there was none in my life,
so now when I live in my head and think of you, all I need is the cyph,
I used to think we worked, but apparently is was more like a chore,
and just like the seasons changing, the sun does not shine anymore.
3 months have passed, and still I love your touch,
but the only extreme change, is I realize I love you too much,
for no matter how much I still need you, even though you claim we are biffs,
thank god you helped me notice, you are not that girl I fell in love with.

12/22/09 Don't Mind Me
Pass me by, without a look or a wave,
I do not need you to pity me, when love treated me as a slave,
I would say pardon me while I burst, but those words seem so wrong,
at least something helps me breathe, and plus it is already a song.
Do not mind me, while the cold freezes the tears to my cheeks,
I am learning to live without you, since is has been months and weeks,
and do not mind me, while at my own party,
I drift off in my own mind, blowing out the candles hoping for a fantasy.
Do not mind me, if I decide to stare at you yet not see,
that the girl I truly loved, has forever ceased to be,
I was not just evicted from your heart, from your life I was shoved,
and while we were together, not once did you fix my doubt about your love.

pages 99 - 100

2010-02-27T13:52:00.002-05:00

12/4/09 Think of Me
Think of me, when you look at yourself in the mirror,
and no matter how blurry my life may seem, make sure yours is always clearer,
think of me, when you have free time at your computer chair,
wasting time on facebook, make sure thought is time you will spare.
Think of me, do not just kick me to the curb,
although I may be tripping on the sidewalk, you out of my life would more than perturb,
think of me, whenever you need help,
be proud of who you are, because lately I do not even know myself.
Think of me, not only as a name,
but as the man who made you his number one, no matter how you left me in pain,
think of me, in oh so many ways,
remember both of our proms, those were truly the great days.
Think of me, that is my final wish,
know you will always be my love, and my life you did enrich,
think of me, the hardest part of our love is,
the fact of the reason, I failed the pop quiz.

12/6/09 Good Morning Sunrise
It is amazing how something so beautiful, can be so many things at once,
and how all of the colors I see, are all produced from the sun.
Light is barely visible in the horizon, as a new day slowly approaches,
all the possibilities that may happen today, such as a new purchase,
somehow I know this.
The blue reminds me of the past, full of sadness and too much rejection,
yet the orange promises me something, as the happy becomes the injection.
The hudson for now is dark, since the sky above has yet to be touched,
by the light of the sun in the morning, that will pull the lever for the night to be flushed.
Lights in rooms slowly come to life, as the alarm clock in their minds rings loud,
and the people all turn on their coffee maker, as the real yawn loud and proud.
But the true lucky ones in the morning, are the ones who get the chance to see,
the sky begins to brighten, as the night exchanges its fee.

PAGES 97-98

2010-02-15T14:02:00.002-05:00

12/4/09 Why Must There be Laziness
Why do we all tend to hurt one another, why does everyone make someone cry,
why must there always be pain, jumping from that beautiful eye.
Why must people be lazy to move up the pyramid, of social and economic success,
why must someone die, and at the same time a newborn be blessed.
Why cant it ever be enough, to heal a broken heart,
why must true love have its imperfections, that lead the two to part.
Why cant female teens, learn not to drink to a mistake,
and why must cigarettes calm the body, and force stressed ones to partake.
Why cant happiness last forever, why must true love feel like trial,
why must I become sad with a thought, why must you always smile.
Why cant people understand, that lost love is the worst type of emotion,
why cant I move foward and move on, when all it is is a motion.

12/4/09 Perfect Symphony to my Ears
Laying next to you, I yearn for your warming touch,
when I know that my heart can not take it, and this feeling is getting to be too much.
Yet your slow breathing seems so soothing, I wish it my symphony to my play,
your lips leave me breathless, there is truly nothing to say.
I wish your movement, would edge you closer and closer to me,
for one split second that we touch, happiness I can achieve.
My mind keeps saying, if there is nothing now there was nothing then,
but my heart tells me, why would you want to share space with me in the same bed.
Yet your breathing still seems to calm me, finds the still in my raging sea,
and I wonder if in your dreams, I could ever be.
You are the soundtrack to my life, you are the genre in my love,
you are the perfect symphony to my ears, and for this split second my sadness does not seem so tough.

pages 95-96

2010-02-11T17:37:00.002-05:00

Empty Page
On an empty page, there can lay anything you can think of,
from anger, to jealousy, sadness, to love,
or even a song with no chords attached, even if when you play it, you feel embarrassed and abashed,
the feeling you get, from a line with no words,
is that of excitement, like hearing the morning ballad of birds.
Imagine a poem, and simply just write,
no matter the moment, it always feels right,
like a newborn baby, at first he has nothing to say,
but with time comes words, soon everything will be ok,
so think of each page as your baby, give it a lot of thought and time,
and soon it will be your star, and the page will be just fine.

12/04/09 Three Cheers to Love Lost
You are the movement of my fingers, that continue this book to fill,
the reason I have become a shadow of my former self, my travel down during a thrill.
Yet you are not alone, love accompanies and picks up your slack,
it is why I will always answer your call, and why I will always fight to not look back.
My only regret is your face tattooed in my mind, your name to my tongue,
the fact that without you in my life, it is hard to find anything truly fun.
Your laughter causes me pain, but your smile is like a disease,
and no matter how sick it makes me, it never fails to please.
The arm rest now lays down, at the theater in the city,
and no matter who happens to join me, they could never feel as pretty.
I know that people say there are bigger fish, but it still feels so untrue,
how can I find the strength inside of myself, when I have always had you.

pages 93-94

2010-02-09T11:54:00.003-05:00

Pouring On My Heart

Lately I have been all alone, like standing in the rain without cover,

you used to be the umbrella that kept me dry, now you are the wind that breaks through the warmth,

I used to want to warm you when you were cold, help you with that jacket,

I need you now more than ever, would give you my time but why would I waste it?

Who are you, I have never seen this wild side,

never knew you could hurt me so, never knew how much you have made me cry,

now you will see, because soon I will find a part of me that you do not need,

I tried to lay my roots, all I wanted was love, now all you want is out.

Was that a smile, keep it to yourself,

leave me out of your life, stop saying I need help,

and why try to fix my problem, when you know yourself it is you,

I am absolutely disgusted by you now, there is absolutely nothing left to do.

Something to Die For

Peel me off the road, rip me off the hook,

stare into my eyes, as I give you that death look,

like a rodent running across the road, or a fish darting left and right in the sea,

you used to make me feel whole, now I cease to be.

Second thoughts are my comfort, as all the regrets are where my head lies,

seeing that amazing smile, all I need to pass the moment is a sigh,

I promised you forever, I even gave you more,

you left me twice on the side of the road, and still I know it is something to die for.

You know me, never think before I speak,

but do you think if I would have thought before, we would have made it past a week,

I gave you too much of me, barely enough left to keep me up,

but I promise you the night you left me, I realized that enough is enough.

Sick of heartbreak, from now on I will never give in,

how can there be a tragic end, if nothing ever begins,

so leave my mind, let the door,

hit you on the way out, because you are something to die for.

Pages 91-92

2010-02-04T01:00:00.002-05:00

Save Your Heart
Never use your heart, to drive the vehicle called love,
because you will get nothing but side swipes, and finding yourself constantly shoved,
instead save your heart, for someone who truly wants to be with you, someone who thinks of not only themselves, and thinks not of one but two.
Save your heart for someone who will not abuse, the way you are so nice to them,
you will do anything they ask you to, all they have to do is choose,
waste not the time the two of you spend, cherish every moment like it was your last,
do not argue over little things, because like me you will regret it in the end.
Save your heart for someone who does not want to be just friends, someone who does not party it up in college,
instead wait for the girl who wants to be with you, and looks foward only to the knowledge,
do not date anyone in high school, unless you do not see anything coming from it,
use this poem, as your own personal love kit.
Save your heart for when your mind, and heart are on the same page,
instead of being a nobody, so full of blame,
save your heart for the person who has emotions, not some weird hiding syndrome,
and someone who gets jealous, and her feelings,
she will occasionally use them.

Beautiniquecialexy
You are the one I make up words for, the one that I let get away,
you said you felt strongly for me, I wish I knew it so I did not have to say,
that if going back in time were possible, would I end up choosing you,
or go back to the one I really chose, the one who had said we were through.
You are beautiful, unique, special, sexy, or even fluffy,
when I am around you, my heart gets sick and stuffy,
and the way I feel for you now, scares me so damn much,
too nervous when I am around you, get all shaky from your touch.
It took about 3 years, for me to truly see,
that your poem makes more sense now, ever notice me,
if you were purely sugar, then I would be diabetic,
I would want more and more of you, I am still so apologetic.
No one should be played, the way that I played you,
but the feelings that I have now, are the ones that push me through,
for if I had a time machine, and truly got to choose,
I would go back about 3 years, and tell myself to choose you.

pages 87-89

2010-01-19T06:41:00.002-05:00

Lost in the Fog
A lighthouse used to shine the way, and give direction where none did exist,
but who would have thought that my guidance for so long, would end up my plot twist.
Looked out far on top of the cliff, hoping to be steered to security, but no beacon remained, for we are not the same,and not a light of yours is visible to me.
In you I trusted, to help me lead my heart,out of the fog and onto the shore,
but the light has been extinguished, my leadership is shaky,and now independence is the cure.
A lighthouse once stood over that hill, with our names engraved in stone,
I am lost in the fog, no shelter or refuge, when I lost the closest feeling to being home.

Who Says?
Who says I can not be free, when nobody ever listens to me,
not the big man living up above, look forwards to the nights of faking love,
but who says I should not take time, when lately that is all that is truly mine.
Who says love strikes twice, and every time it seems so nice,
my love move can not seem to be directed, since I am still waiting for my least expected, it has been caged like sick dying bireds, who sadly found out actions kill slower than words.
Who says she was not my godsend, friends may finish with over but never does it mean ends,
who says I should learn what to say, college usually creates futre but it took mine away,
who says I should not keep to myself, all alone, when the only thing time seems to help, is the tools slowly chipping away at the stone.

I am Still Hurting
If you only knew, how I am barely holding myself together,
I have never felt this way, I am without my lover,
it is 5:03 and I can not sleep, sheep are too lazy, so they crawl,
if I never fell for you, I would not be falling at all.
You were the happiness within me, my heat against the cold,
I was your king and you were my ace, now I have been hit and forced to fold,
you hug me and say do not cry, but how could you touch me like so,
without you in my life, my poems do not even seem to flow.
I am still feeling the vacant spot, that you once took up,
used to feel half full, now it has all been emptied from the cup,
forced to now hate my job, for it is when our lines intersect,
and I wish you flawed, so our love that we had, was not so perfect.
I am still hurting, it is so easy to see,
I played loves roulette, now I am paying the fee,
I wish I could hold you, but I fear what you might say,
and no matter how unfurnished I feel now, somehow everything will be ok.

pages 85-86

2010-01-11T17:42:00.002-05:00

Perfectly Flawed
I have finally awoken, I no longer dream,
I feel like i usually do, when it is less than what seemed,
the past four years, have all been a lie,
how can we stay friends, when you are never by my side.
You were too good to be true, and that is a fact,
feeling so lonely, and so incorrect,
so I will think of your flaws, when you seem to have none,
the way you are too perfect, there that is one.
The way you take advantage, in your subconscious mind,
the way you act so cruel, yet to others so damn kind,
the way you knock me out, with your unique smile,
the way I feel like a janitor, cleaning your room as if it were an aisle.
The fact of you deceiving, and cheating on me too,
helps me notice your perfection, and how my love for you is true,
no lips could ever amount, no tongue will ever feel,
like the way I always felt with you, now it seems so damn unreal.
I was able to only think of six, which is just as many Saw's,
but it is hard to jab at perfection, and uncover its flaws,
so I will wait as long as it takes, no matter what the cost,
for my love is not ending, which makes me feel like yours is lost.

Anthem of Goodbye
I keep holding onto what we had, knowing no matter how hard I squeeze it,
it will not come back to life, now there is nothing left of you,
I have noticed it in your eyes, while I walk through my mind,
my feet wading in the tide, of memories of the two of us,
knowing I must make that last goodbye, look to the horizon,
as the sun starts to slowly slide, all I can think to do,
is just kiss you and hold you like I used to,
sure there were seashells and sea worn glass shards on the beach,
but no matter how sharp one was, the cuts on my feet always mended,
but the only hope that fills my heart, is not that you would come back,
it is that I will get over you, I must learn to walk the shore alone,
and no matter how constricting the pain feels, I must make that last goodbye.

pages 82-84

2010-01-09T02:54:00.002-05:00

Candle Wont Light
It flickers to a halt, it jitters as the air,
blows through the candles flame, and extinguishes it without a care,
and no matter how hard I try, no amount of matches will do,
for the next year of my life, every month will be the first without you.
Now you hold the flame, you are the only one who is my light,
even though I fight to not look at you, your beauty way too bright,
for my candles refuses to ignite, my fish refuses to bite,
hard to think I love you, when it is hard to know I was right.
I do not belong in a church, for if I did I would be the only one,
who would not flicker to life, when praying for a mother or son,
and I do not know my future, I do not know my end,
my lies continue to sink, as my truthfulness refuses to bend.
So my heart is like my candle, a connection would be the flame,
but it is hard to look at love anymore, when you played it like a game,
my radar refuses to work, I no longer hear any blip,
and I want to know what the point of love is,
when I keep getting stabbed by the tip.

Sick and Tired
Okay you may feel right, may feel so god damn sure,
that I should be the bigger man, I am oh so immature,
you pass the time in your dumb life, just flipping page to page,
and constantly you stop to say, I should just act my age.
Well I am sick and tired of love, and everything it represents,
I am like a broken down old chevy, covered in so many dents,
sick and tired of girls, and how much drama they tend to produce,
sick and tired of apologies, and especially the ending truce,
I am fed up with being nice, to those who I thought were close,
now I am hitting the spoon to the cup, as I propose a toast.
I wish you all good luck, as you get out of my life,
thank God I finally noticed, that my dream girl is not my wife,
I hope you had your fun, feeding me those lies,
do not ask me back onto a phone, no matter how hard are your tries,
now I am fuming from all of you, who help me to be perspired,
I am so fed up with those of you, who make me sick and tired.

Sing Me to Sleep
In my head is the way you smile, al lthe time,
when you are nervous, and your ability,
to make me earn this, I wish I could wake up,
and things would be the same, please sing me to sleep,
your lips are where mine will aim.
You always laughed and smiled, when I acted happy and witty,
and the way you made me feel, like I was really funny,
where did we go wrong, when did you decide you needed to leap,
your voice is the ultimate soother, so please sing me to sleep.
All my love that I could give, was all that you could take,
spending too much time arguing, now that was the mistake,
because no matter how much I complained, on your bed I was set,
as long as I had you, on your chair surfing the internet.
It was your essence, and how I was always wrapped around it,
your love kept me sane, your kisses kept me grounded,
and no matter how you feel, or what message ever gets sent,
only you can sing me to sleep, and I feel way too spent.
I figured out the story, it is one that is now hated,
you may have been molded for me, but for you I was created,
your six letters will always ring, when I ever hear your name,
no one can treat you like I can, but now you just put me to shame.

pages 78-81

2010-01-06T20:31:00.002-05:00

I'm Doing it for Me
For years I have been who you wanted me to be, I was always there for you even if I was not really free,
and you never had the time for me, so thank you for choosing to let me be.
To hell with your smile and your perfect looks, I am sick and tired of reading the books,
like a steel gurder that finally took, finally this fish has freed himself from the hook.
I will forget what you said, as soon as you are out of my head,
pencil point has finally broken its lead, and what we had for 4 years is dead.
But man does it feel good to finally see, what the good life is to be free,
finally do not have to worry about anyone else, and I am finally doing it for me.

You Know You're in Love When She is at her Worst
You can be in sweats, you ca nrun a couple miles,
you can meet me without makeup, and still look your best,
you can forget to do your hair, or just be too damn lazy,
yet still when I see your face, it will always drive me crazy,
you can cover up your face, so I do not see anything but a hand,
and never will you look awful, not even close to bland,
knowing what you look like, when you first awake,
because even though you have hurt me, I would still put it all at stake,
and I will always love you, and think your beauty true,
because I always think about you, when I have nothing to do,
you will always be in my heart, you will always finish first,
and I know that I am in love, because you are amazing at your worst.

From the Earth to the Moon
The first day I realized you were gone, was the first time I felt like I could not breathe,
you left without warning, it felt like a trick was up your sleeve,
your feelings sure changed quick, and for that I am truly sorry,
but do not talk to me all nice, and leave me with your pity.
I have gone from first place to last, and it only took a day,
I can not help but have a feeling, that my heart you did play,
because how could I be the best, the happiest lily pad,
when the truth about the matter is, I am the only you have ever had.
I had soilid ground below me, and the grass between my toes,
now I am floating without gravity, and when I land on solid ground again who knows,
but I know my heart will suffer, without your missed kisses,
because love is just a game of cards, with way less hits then misses.
Now I will find a way to live, without you in my life,
to think I was beginning, to look at you as a wife,
the last lines are being written, the lyrical lies are sung,
and I am now starting to feel, the air back in my lungs.

Is That All There Is?
Is that it? Is that what I got butterflies over?
Is that what I look foward to? Apparently it is what I go for.
And if you felt constricted and held down, like that of a tree,
well the gardener has ripped out your roots, and now you are free.
But surely, hopefully, one day you will see, and maybe even ask yourself why,
for without one another, the roots and the tree seize to be.
It sucks that I am still in love, that I am still your biggest fan,
when you "did not break up with me, to get back together again,"
but I will continue to cry, and continue to be nice,
even though my heart feels lost, and its spot is cold as ice.

pages 76-77

2009-12-08T11:27:00.002-05:00

From a Kiss to a Wave

Went from friends to love, through push and shove, and that seems so far away,
from a kiss to a wave, from shadows to shave, and I do not know what to say.
I feel deranged, to think you have changed, but I know in my heart it is true,
I would fight through hell, to break that shell, because I would go through it again for you.
I feel so high, to think you would try, to pick me up while I am down,
I wish I knew, if it was true, if it was love I had found.
It hurts so much, I need your touch, but I can not even say your name,
through think and thin, but the latter will not begin, and I am so damn full of pain.
So make up your mind, I am so sick of tryin, to get myself over you,
no matter what you said, no matter how my heart bled, I still do not feel it is through.

What Good is it?

What good is waking up, when dreaming gives me you,
and when I have my girl, it is better being two.
What good is getting dressed, when you are not around to see,
that there is no one to impress, when I do not feel happy.
What good is going to class, when I am not even sure,
if I will make it up to 30, so why build toward a future.
What good is dating others, when you are my one to compare,
feeling that you are with another, means you have something to share.
What good is being known, what good is feeling fine,
when deep down I know it is true, that I am never on your mind.
What good is making money, when I am trying to make it through,
what good is being good, knowing I will never again have you.

pages 74-75

2009-12-02T23:51:00.003-05:00

Nothing is the Same
I call out your name, hoping to hear a reply,
but I am not hearing a response, so I start to cry.
I walk around hoping, that we would end up in the same place,
but for some reason I am lost, and can not see a familiar face.
Sit down on a bench, hoping to get back feeling,
but my emotional shield has shattered, my banana peel beginning the peeling.
But just as I start to feel the darkness, and begin to lose my sight,
out far back in the distance, I see a dimming light.
I jump on my feet and think, that must be where we wil meet,
just as I start getting feeling back, I am running with my own two feet.
Now I look right in front of me, I truly can not believe what I see,
I will never be the same without you, and it looks as if you are better off without me.

Back to Good
Take sometime, and take a breath, and let yourself let go,
but everyone around you seems, to be moving way too fast,
you can not catch up, simply out of reach, you are moving way too slow,
you thought you would make it for some time, but nothing will ever last.

Used to be happy, now your mind sets up a guard,
but one day someone will knock down your wall,
and you will be left broken again, and it is not supposed to be this hard,
because everytime you fall in love, you always seem to be the one who does the fall.

I do not want to let go, and watch you walk away,
you may have changed but I still love you, I truly would have wished you would stay,
I feel like the fool in the love play, and boy did I play my part,
but at least I was not acting in love, like you played with my heart.

Back to good, I hope I realize,
that beauty is not only in your eyes,
and the way it should have been, was the two of us falling in love again,
but since you left, I have felt so shallow,
sick and tired of feeling this sorrow,
and now i need to tell you, love is where I have always stood,
because I need you in my life, or I will not go back to good.

pages 72-73

2009-11-23T05:10:00.002-05:00

In Memory of...
This page is in memory of the great poem that I would have written,
had I wanted to make each word roll off the other like a skeeball flying up into the high score.
This is in memory of the man who was hit by a truck,
and in memory of the truck driver that felt nothing as she kept going right out of the victimes life.
This is in memory of the boy who had high hopes about where his life was going,
but lost everything in one quick movement.
In memory of all the tissues that soaked up all the tears for the boy,
who became the man, who became the victim.
In memory of the future, that never will be the same,
because it has all become jaded and foggy.
This is in memory of the future,
of the victim, of the man, of the boy...
In memory of Renato with Stacey,
and in memory of the life that could have been.

Highway Exit # 1232
My life, my long life, can be compared to that long road,
that long pavement road with hundreds of exits,
everyone is going too fast, seems I can not seem to slow down,
and I do not know my destination.
Only a piece of paper, says I started off in New Jersey,
went to New York, California, then back to New York,
and the destination is a word that is incomprehensible.
It is one of those unlockable parts of your life,
since at my age I do not know where I will be when I bite the dust.
But I can look at all the exits,
they seem to represent important parts of my love life,
that just left my highway as soon as it seemed they were on it until that final destination.
There was exit #1011, exit #727, exit #ALM, exit #MASH,
even a few smaller exits that converge back on my highway,
but their road is never the same.
Then there was exit #1232, when she joined me on my long trip,
she ventured off for a mile or two but came back to my highway,
and we stayed going North for quite a while.
But one day I hear from my GPS,
"now arriving at exit #1232,"
and just like that she was gone.
But all I have got to do is just tell myself,
no matter how big of an exit it may seem,
just like the exit prior to it,
there will always be another merger on the horizon.

pages 70-71

2009-11-19T13:03:00.002-05:00

Tower Falls So Hard
You cam into my life, so sudden and so quick,
thought you would stay for longer, figured I would never be heatsick,
but as sudden as you arrived, it seems too fast that you left,
there is no one to call, when there is an emotional theft,
not only of your heart, but of the steel that kept you strong,
the support system of my tower is missing, and it certainly will not stand for long.

But on the day when I felt, like for the second time I was booted,
my friends came to the rescue, and made sure I was rerooted,
but no matter how sound it looks, or how much it can be flipped,
your hands are the only ones, that can make sure my roots are ripped.

Now those missing steel parts, I must recreate inside of me,
for the only way to stand, is to branch out like a tree,
and I know it will be hard, and always seem wronger,
but what does not kill me, will only make me stronger.

Pain
If pain had a face, I am pretty sure it would be my own,
if it had a home, it would be my eyes,
because I will not believe, I will ever be the same,
been searching for years, heartbroken in all my tries.

I tried to run up your stairs, but everytime I was a step from the top,
you reached out your arms, to push me down,
now I figure you were simply playing around,
and trying to see how low you could get me to the ground.

P is for power, that you held over me,
A is for the assistance, you always needed, and I idiotically agreed,
I is for insanity, which is what I was in trusting you,
and N is for nothing, because you changed in the past month,
so clearly we are through.

Pages 68-69...the beginning of the break up poems

2009-11-17T06:10:00.002-05:00

This is the first poem I wrote after being dumped on sept 16 2009...i wrote this the day of well actually the night of after not writing a poem in about 2 years

I Used To...
I used to feel love, within my heart,
speaking what I thought to be true, saying we would never part,
I used to be able to smile, now all I do is cry,
I used to feel that there was no denying, the nervous feeling of butterflies,
but now I must call out your flaws, I truly must inspect,
but how can I find wrong, in someone so perfect?
I used to feel complete, now I only feel hollow,
and seeing you unhurt about all this, just adds to the sorrow,
I used to live outside my head, now what else can I do,
noticing there is clearly a you without me, when there will never be a me without you.
I used to think love, was strong and oh so tough,
but just like playing blackjack, love called out my bluff,
now I think of how I used to be, wondering how much more my heart can take,
when in 3 years and 8 months, all I get is another heartbreak.

Sleeping With a Broken Heart
Lay in your bed, hoping to sleep but instead you can do nothing,
but get comfy in your head,
wonder where it went wrong, who played what part,
but the outcome of it all, is a shattered heart.
You try to hide the pain, even if your heart is on your sleeve,
and everytime a memory pops up, you find it hard to breathe,
you have not felt this alone, for so damn long,
also thinking you will awake from the dream,
but waking up to find her still gone.
Never thought I would ever miss a smile, you have an everlasting grin,
that will not seem to leave, figure it will take a while,
for me to learn to say your name, and not feel in the corner of my eye,
a lonely tear drop slowly from my nose,
it is true in the end, the worst part of believe,
is when you learn, it was all a lie.

pages 65-67

2009-11-11T05:16:00.002-05:00

Someone Unique and True
You are a sweet and one of a kind girl, and I thank fate every day that you are mine,
you are beautiful, funny, loyal and honest, yes, my love, you are one of a kind.
Day in and day out, my heart beats for you,
if you were to leave me, I would not know what to do.
With each awakening day, I think of you and smile,
how you filled my heart with uncontrollable love, and made my life so fulfillin.
As I sit here and write, I think of all the fun,
we are going to have together, you are the world to me, Stacey Labiosa,
and I pray we will be together forever.
We became so close, and now you are my fad,
Stace, I can honestly say from my heart,
you are the greatest girl a guy can have.
I love you so much, Stacey, you are making all my dreams come true,
can you believe it took me 16 years, to find someone as unique as you.

The Other Half
When the night first parted and the sun began to rise,
upon the stromy waters that are my soul,
I never would have guessed that you,
were the true other half to make me whole.
My heart was blind and looking in all the wrong places,
for that perfect someone I thought I had missed,
but to think that perfect someone,
belonged to lips that I never kissed.
You melted your way into my life,
now we are forever bound,
funny how I used to think,
your laugh was nothing but a sound.
Each day is now filling me with such joy,
and you have all the right stuff,
each day, I silently thank your parents,
for making my diamond in the rough.
Now when the sun peers out,
upon my watery soul,
no more storms, it is peaceful and calm,
for you are the other half that makes me whole.

My Star (Stacey's 16th Bday)
I have been on vacation, and I have missed you so much,
but to come back on your birthday, and finally feel your touch,
is the one and only wish, that I have had since we last saw each other,
I would have been back sooner, if it were not for my brother.

More silent than still, with no words to speak,
the warm California air, hitting my New York cheek,
I picture your face, and the spark in your eyes,
and I make a wish, as I look to the night skies.

The stars in the heavens, are all I can see,
including the star, that shines only for me,
it holds my secrets, and treasures untold,
its knows my dreams, new and old.

When I am lost, and all alone,
I look to my star, and it leads me home,
and when I am not sure, of where I belong,
I look to my star, and it sings me a song.

Even though I am in California, and it watches me from afar,
and I know I will always, have my star,
and I know in my heart, I know that this is true,
that the star that I speak of, could only be you.

pages 61-64

2009-11-04T03:45:00.002-05:00

One Year Poem (Jan 2007)
I never knew the meaning of love, or what that great word entails,
I simply knew the definition, that left out all of the details.
I never knew what love meant, or how to tell if it was true,
but all this changed, the night I first talked with you.
I know what I feel for you is true, because it is no surprise,
that I can still see your face, even when I close my eyes.
I can still feel your arms, holding me so tight,
even after your embrace, has left my sight.
Even long after I go home, I can still taste your sweet kiss,
lingering on my lips, leaving me in pure bliss.
I know I am in love because I miss you, before you are even gone,
your voice echoes in my ears, until the break of dawn.
Your presence eases my pain, your name sends chills down my spine,
you are the only one I think about, and I am happy you are still mine.
We came back together on the corner, underneath the stars above,
what started out as an online chat, soon turned into love.
So now I will say happy one year, in my heart I know this is true,
I know I have waited all my life, to fall in love with you.

You're Sick but I Still Love You (March 6, 2007)
Everytime I see you, I fall so much more in love with you,
you paralyze my body, I do not know what to do,
right now you are sick, and I miss you so much,
hoping you feel better, not only for your warm touch.
I love you time infinity, times seven,
each minute with you, feels like a minute in heaven,
but down here on Earth, nothing is as seems,
however you are the girl, from my best dreams.
My heart burns hotter than your forehead, even hotter than the sun,
and each time I look at you, I remember you are truly the one.
Now I tell you this in love, please do not ever leave,
for my love for you is as important, as the air I breathe.

My Mrs.Clause (13 Month Poem)
More than a year ago, I met a girl as perfect as perfect can be,
she has beautiful brown hair and beautiful brown eyes, her perfect name is Stacey,
I wondered in the beginning, if you felt for me in your heart,
now I know you do because we are together, and we will never part.
Everything about you is pretty, from your feet to your hair,
and since 13 months ago today, your pretty eyes can see us as a pair,
I was once told, that the best is hard to find,
I went through all the hard, and you are surely one of a kind.
It has been 13 months since the night, I asked you out and we started our life together,
and I never want to lose you, I never want us to sever,
whenever I go home, and wish upon a star,
my wish is for you, to be close instead of far.
Time seems to be our enemy, since it can not pause,
I am your Ole Saint Nick, and you are my Mrs.Clause.

14 Month Poem
Sometimes when I am biking home, I glance up at the night sky,
I start thinking of you, and then I ask myself why?
Why do I love you? I think of and smile,
because I know the list, can run on for miles.
The gentleness of your voice, the warmth I get from your touch,
so many little things, make me love you so damn much.
The way you always support me, even my craziest notion,
the way that you care, and show me so much devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and when we hug, you warm me up like fire.
The way your eyes shine, when you look at me,
lost in them forever, is where I will forever be.
The way that I feel, when you are by my side,
that feeling of completion, and overwhelming pride.
All the dreams that I dreamt, that involve you,
the possibilities I see, and the things that we can do.
How you are the missing piece to my puzzle, that lies deep within my heart,
how deep inside my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for hours, telling you what I feel,
but all you need to know, is my love for you is real.
Happy 14 Month!!! I Love You!!!

pages 55-60

2009-11-02T00:20:00.003-05:00

You Complete Me
I could not have made it until now, if it was not for you,
I would be oh so lost, not knowing what to do.
Because you put me together, only now I can really see,
you make me who and what I am, what else can I say,
you complete me.
The both of us are two different halves, when put together, we are just one whole,
every beat of my heart is yours, everyday I can not to be full.
It is just your smile I need to see, when there is no other remedy,
only you put me together, I will say it one more time,
you complete me.
I am way too scared to let you go, I never again want to lose you,
if you were not here with me, I would never know what to do.
All I feel now are joys, you make all my sorrows history,
What else can I say right now?
It is because you complete me.

Your Love and that Look (10 month poem)
I never though I would love again, until about 11 months ago,
around when I met you, you have been more than my special friend,
you have been my comforter too.
You are my christmas morning, you chase away all the dark clouds,
you have changed my life when it was imperfect, and made it into what it is now.
I would do anything, just to see that look with your eyes,
the look that says you missed me, that you hate all our goodbyes.
Whenever I hold you, I feel so safe and secure,
like i could never feel pain again, and in that I am absolutely sure.
You are everything I could ever want, you are my every dream come true,
I never knew there was love like this, not until I found you.
When pain was all around me, and i felt like hope was all gone,
even when Nonnie passed, you helped me find strength to go on.
You are my world, my heart, my soul, my strength, without you, all is lost,
I will stand by you through a thousand forevers, no matter what the cost.
There comes a time, in everyones life, when your heart must be the guide,
now it is that time and you are the one, I will forever need by my side.

I dislike it when I leave you
I dislike it when I leave you, at your house all alone,
it is like the freezing cold winter, at your house, cold like a stone.
I dislike it when I leave you, to go do my laundry,
I hate to leave so early, you are not just a girl, you are extraordinary.
I dislike it when I leave you, when we are having so much fun,
because nobody wants that feeling, to be abandoned.
I dislike it when I leave you, in every single way,
the only reassuring thing about leaving, is I will be back the very next day.

The Months Keep Rolling
When our eyes first met, I could not be distracted by the noisiest car,
because the feeling that I felt, at that time to me as bizarre.
It was then around 3 months, when you first gave me the look,
mezmerized me in uncertain ways, you will always have me with your hook.
6 months came up, you were doing your best,
to keep up your patience, because I was always so burlesque.
Then 8 months came, we knew we were not mistaken,
and I still act all emotional, when you say that I am brazen.
9 months came fast, we passed all the dents,
as our relationship turned golden, as I admired your benevolence.
10 months passed recently, not a day too late, you see,
and yet I still remember your beauty, and how you knew how to captivate,
only me...

You Held on So Long
When I heard, the news that morning,
I knew our lives, were going to change,
from that moment on, life without you,
was awful, uncomfortable, and strange.
The comfort of our home, was like a strong tree,
with you as our mighty roots,
but since you passed, that tree is down,
and now we are nothing but worn out boots.
Your new home, is six feet under,
with all the roses, and on top of your husband,
a man who you have not seen in years,
your closest friend.
And now when I get the feeling, that I am being watched,
I know who it can only be,
the person who held on for so long,
my lovable, Nonnie.

Our Love (11 month poem)
Our love was blind, our love was at one point cold,
it was so hard to find, and it was so hard to hold.
Our love can see, in us love can definitely live,
no matter where we are, love knows to whom I give.
Love is an amazing game, love has a certain way,
when we are together, it does not matter how each of us play.
Our love was once my wish, was even a dream,
served on a golden dish, and held at the seam.
Our love will go on, and it has carried us,
I would never hurt you, that you can trust.
Our love is so true, and our love is it,
for you and I, to carry this bit.
Love is rich, love is poor,
no matter which one, we always want it more.
Our love made us cry, our love made us smile,
this 11 months, felt like such a little while.
Our love is around, and starts from inside,
the beating sound of our hearts, we can each alway find.
Our love can be, and our love can do,
so please keep on loving me, because I will keep on loving you.

No Words Could Explain (2007 Valentine poem)
How do I explain in plain text, the feelings I have for you,
like a rainbow after the rain, you always come shining through.
Like a crutch under my arm, I can always lean on you,
words alone can not capture how I feel, money can not buy the love I feel for you.
For you I would run further than any person, I would swim the deepest sea,
I would grab the farthest star, because you are the only one for me.
Like a dog protecting its master, I will always defend you,
I will be forever loyal to you, and you alone, I hope you know this to be true.
I can look up at the sky, no star can shine brighter than your eyes,
like a lamp in a dark room, or even a night light in a dark hallway.
A place in my heart you have forever marked, no person will ever scratch you out,
not one person can ever replace you, for what you mean to me, no words can describe.
Loving you is a gift from God, being loved by you is a blessing,
still being with you, is the best thing.
So from the bottom of my heart, I can not say it any other way,
so would you be my Valentine yet again?
Happy Valentines Day!

page 90

2009-10-30T06:13:00.002-04:00

I felt I had to skip foward quickly to a poem I wrote literally about 30 mins ago about someone who WAS close to me...This poem came to me in a dream and I know how cliche that sounds but what scares me is it it true...The only other poem that ever came to me in a dream was the one I wrote about my Grandmother after she passed away...

Recipe for Repitition
Take a few cigarettes, a couple of lies here and there,
mix it with a beautiful girl, with long blonde hair,
got a second chance at her future, but slowly she is giving that up,
messing with every mans head, soon will be drinking liquid confidence out of a cup.

She was messed up then, thought I would never see her again,
figured that last time she ran away, was truly the end,
but abruptly she returned, and at first all was going well,
but the devil wrote her a recipe, and in her subconcious mind it dwelled.

Now she has lost me as a friend, I do not want to deal,
with the girl who lives in the past, and refuses to be real,
it is a shame I will never get, a chance to see her true self,
for how can I help someone, who refuses to be helped.

This girl knows who she is, and i hope these words she reads,
for my feelings for you fill up this pen, and makes the blue ink bleed,
and everyone has problems, that is part of reality,
and until you learn to grow up, you can grow up without me.

pages 49-54

2009-10-30T05:52:00.002-04:00

When We Started Going Out (9 Month Poem)
We used to be so shy, when we started going out,
we would never fight, we would never argue, never ever shout,
and now we are closer, and we are doing better than fine,
as our month anniversary changes from eight to nine.

I was never so damn nice, to any other girl,
you are the best thing that did happen to me, you are the best thing in this world,
and I know we are going to last, months and months and years,
we will also help each other never cry, and get over all our fears.

So tell your mom, your uncle too,
the only person I want to be with, is wonderful you,
around you I can not fall, around you I am never blue,
it is the best feeling ever, knwoing our love is true.

She Is...
She is the sun coming up, on a cold, rainy day,
she talks right over all sound, she loves to hear me say,
"I do not know how but you have changed my mind,
because when I look at you, I go completely blind,
I can not see, and I think about you constantly."

She is the only one who can hold me, as the night sky falls down,
what can I say, I love the color of her hair and her eyes,
dog food brown,
becuase when I look at her, I hope she is looking at me,
close my eyes, count 1...2...3...
because in the end the outcome is always the same,
I love you Stacey.

Right now, I am ready to spend the rest of my life,
with you, you will hopefully be my wife,
have a couple of dogs, one big, one small,
you know I love you when I say, "I would give it away, it all,"
because she is...

This next poem was written after my Grandmother passed away on Nov.2, 2006...She was honestly everything to me and to this day I wish I had her around to balance out the lazy inside of me....I love you Nonnie where ever you are.

RIP Nonnie (1920-Nov.2, 2006)
Dear Nonnie,
you know I will always miss you, and how you were always there,
with your little blue cart, and your beautiful blonde hair,
because even though I did not say it alot, I love you oh so much,
now I can never see you, face to face, I can never again feel your touch,
I hope I did not disappoint you, and let you feel alone,
because I think of you so often, and my heart will always be your home,
and all the nights you were in pain, I knew it was never pretend,
but never did I think, that they were your signs of the end,
so now hopefully you are with Grandpa Renato, up in heaven with God,
and I know everytime I am victorious, I will hear you two applaud,
and you left us missing you, me, my father, and my brother,
but just know that with your grandsons, you put the mother in grandmother,
and even though, you I will never see, and no more will you be,
at least I know when I need someone, I have you watching over me.

I Love You Nonnie!
Renato Vitale

They Said
They all said it would not work out all right, but I knew it was not true,
because all I trust in this whole wide world, is my unquestionable love for you.
They said it was wrong for me to love you, well then my heart would not let me be right,
and now that I know I love you, I always have you in my sight.
Our destiny is meant to be together, and to never be apart,
from now until forever, you will be locked away in my heart.
We are supposed to be different, and love can break all the rules,
family dignity and prestige, are matters of concerns for fools.
They said we are not a good pair, that we are not made for each other, you and I,
I would have accepted it, if it were true,
but how could I, when I knew it was a lie.
Our love is much too strong, it is way too deep and so sincere,
and i know my love for you, will continue to grow, whether we are far or near.
And we both know, that this is true,I do not know why others doubt,
maybe they are just jealous of our love, maybe that is what it is all about.
And we went though that stage, just like a bad dream,
and now we will laugh and never forget it,
because we hoped for the ebst, dear Stacey,
and now, we finally got it!

pages 45-48

2009-10-28T05:59:00.002-04:00

Our Shoe Box
Helium balloon, made our voices squeek,
burger king receipt, wanna take a peek?
Many more receipts, a bunch from Hurrican Harbor as well,
can not believe we stole that drink, now we are going to hell.
There is Danity Kane's receipt, really was an eye popper,
now thanks to your mom, I keep saying,
"show stopper, show, show stopper."
Strings tied into a laniard, and the two letters you wrote,
free chinchilla paper, damn I wanted that blote,
our knife from that first night, almost hit me in that place,
a ball I made of duct tape, that almost hit me in the face.
Mini white board eraser, so we can erase bad things from the past,
our card from Melissa's party, which went by way too fast,
little itty bitty bell, so I can ring it for you honey,
letter that we opened up, only looking for the money.
Light up push pop, which you lit up more than you did lick,
the one year fortune cookie, hope it is a good pick,
keychain twister, just in case of a twister emergency,
dancing hampster, funny to hear and funny to see.
101 dalmations biting a bone, the letter you left me,
when I first walked Arvie alone,
key food card, we used to break in with ease,
I am so happy, you helped me calm down and find my keys.
Lady and the Tramp, kissing in their bed,
you may have the angel body, but I have the angel head,
there is a picture holder with a funny pink batch,
oh what is this? Oh yeah, the girl scout patch,
white out, to erase a bad tune,
even a picture, of good ole Wonjoon.
A "Stacey Loves Renato" note, inside a gold box,
there is chapstick, more receipts, and some lipgloss,
but the best thing in our shoe box to me, to you is kind of fruity,
but just to let you know, it is......

Urge (8 month poem)
It begins as a thought, about you or your mate,
it is never too early, and it is never too late,
you could be in your room, or even in your class,
you could be looking at the clock, watching the seconds pass,
waiting for the bell, so you can hurry and see,
the person who loves, to make your life so easy.
It may come as I help you, do your homework for school,
even when we sit at your cabana, just hanging out at the pool,
and it is this little, tiny thing, and add just a whole bunch of love,
equals all the happiness you bring, from such an angel from above.
And this angel has trust, in such a demon like me,
but her beauty has a certain shine, which helped me to see,
that all I really need is you, the whole package, all the stuff,
I love you, Stacey, Happy 8 month!

I Can Not Go to Sleep(But I Still Love You)
I can not go to sleep, I think about her over,
thinking about the way we met, not knowing I would love her,
this always happens at night, I worry over situations,
that I know will be alright, maybe it is just my imagination,
night after night, it reappears,
day after day, my heart shows the fear,
of losing you, and watching you fade away,
hoping if that happens, you will come back another day.
I can not go to sleep, I think about the complications,
of diving in too deep, or is it just my imagination,
especially at night, I worry over old situations,
I now know are alright, and all are overkill,
night after night, it pops up again,
day after day, I grab my book, and grab my pen,
I have you now, forever and ever,
think back to that I M, not knowing I would love her.

page 42-44

2009-10-26T02:00:00.002-04:00

I Wish She Was Here
As I lie in her bed, all I seem to think about is her,
I remember her hair revealing her beautiful face,
as the evenings summer breeze blew.
As I get up to gaze at the night sky, her face appears on the moon.
I miss her beautiful brown eyes, I can not wait to see her soon.
I can still see her perfect smile, which could light up the darkest sky.
I love her with all my heart, I am lucky she is mine.
I can still hear her voice, which is music to each ear,
she has the voice of an angel, I really wish she was here.
To touch her face, to hold her close,
to kiss her lips, I wish for the most.
Cause if I were to yet again be kissed by this angel,
it would send me away, I would be off to heaven,
and as long as I am with her, I will be there to stay.
I wish she was here...

Squeeze My Hand, Not My Heart
I have only one love and that is you, without you,
my life would be miserable and incomplete.
We are together as one, you have my silver heart,
and I have you r gold heart.
Please do not take my heart and drop it, for it was once dropped before.
Hold my heart tight, but do not hold it too tight,
for it will lose it's love and gain nothing.
Holding hands as we walk, walk at the same pace,
and the same steps, for if we get out of step,
that would be like breaking up our relationship.
That is why it is two lives, one world,
one love, that lasts forever.

Why is the Dream Always the Same?
At night time when I go to bed, and on boogie rest my head,
I close my eyes case soon I know, an image of you is going to show.
The dream I have is always the same, I am right behind you calling your name,
you turn to see me standing there, and with our eyes we hold a stare.
You walk towards me with your feet, but never do we get to meet,
there is always one last step to take, yet on that step I seem to wake.
Why did you leave me, why did you go,
why do I have to love you so,
why is the pain so hard to bear, the love I feel for you so rare.
You made me laugh, you made me cry,
you made my heart feel pain and die,
why is the dream always the same, why do you turn when I call your name?
Do you still feel the same as me, or have you moved on and left us be,
but this dream I have will never end, I will wait until our love will send.
The love I hold for you so true, I can not wait to feel the same back to.

SIDENOTE: I wrote this when Stacey broke up with me(the first time). I always knew there was still something between us. i loved her and knew she loved me too!

Well I dunno if I feel the same now, but I definitely know how I felt then and this just seems like it is going even longer....

7 Month Poem to Stacey
This started as a blank page, and it is ending as a rhyme,
do not care how late at night it is, I will always have the time,
to tell you how much I love you, and explain how much I care,
how no matter how far away we are, I will always be there.

But that would be too similar, as the poems in the past,
instead I will say new things, such as I know we are going to last,
but yet I have said that too, there is not much left to say,
but to tell you I have dreamt, about us making it to this day.

I will tell you I will love you forever, always and in all ways,
through every single second, and all the time, through days and days,
in you, I am so happy, and I can never get enough,
finally I can say, happy 7 month.

page 37-41

2009-10-25T13:38:00.002-04:00

I'll Be With You
My love for you, is like a cicrle, never ending.
Think of me always, where ever you are, I will be with you.
When the wind blows, through your fingers and hair, it is me touching you,
and when you taste the fresh water, and feel a sense of relief, it is me kissing you.
When you go out in tothe day, looking for adventure, I will be right by your side.
When you are lonely and feel insecure, I am only a phone call away.
I will be with you always in your heart.
No matter where you are, I will be with you.

15th Bday poem (Stacey)
I love you when the sun goes down,
my love exists past the light of day,
you are the only one for me,
I know, forever in my heart,
is where you stay.
I love you every second,
in every single way,
hope you have a great and grand,
15th birthday.
Becuase I love you throughout the whole day,
even when the sun falls again,
I will always be there for you,
just tell me where and when.

"I am Missing You..."
I miss you so very much, I miss your wonderful, tender touch,
I miss your beautiful, sweet kiss, all of you, you know I miss.
I love the way you brush your hair, I love knowing that you are there,
I love your eyes, so deep and brown,
I love the feeling of our love, we never frown.
I love when I wake up by your side, I love thinking of you as my bride,
I would love to walk and hold your hand, along the soft, Mexican white sand.
I love when I get to see you sleep at night, lying next to you,
holding your hand, so tight,
I love to keep you safe and warm, to protect you from any harm.
I love to talk and chat all night, the words we say, they feel so right,
I know we will always be together, our relationship will last forever.
Even though it took some time, you are always going to be mine,
I sit and wait, I hope and pray,
I love for that beautiful day.
All I say I mean from my heart, I always have, right from the start,
I would never hurt you, or make you cry,
I will be there for you until the day I die.
I am missing you...

No Matter Where We Are
No matter where you are, even if it is Mexico or NYC,
I do not care about the distance, I will always be there you will see,
our love will last forever, in California, Florida, and New Jersey.
That distance does not mean a thing to me, just to be with you,
I will be the best I can, and hope some day in the future,
I will be your special man.
Just to show you what I am about, I will show you how much I still care,
just by surprising you by showing up, and showing you I will always be there.
From the good to the bad, from the happy to the sad,
through all the pain, through all the lies,
I will always help you through, which makes me the happiest man alive.
Now I hope you realize, life is not just a dare,
but when I am with you, it is everything,
which helps me always, to be there.

This is a song I wrote....I still haven't figured out the chord progression but I've been working on it alot more lately. Hopefully I'll have something soon...

Writings on the Wall
V1:
Look into my eyes, is it really a surprise?
That I love everything about you.
From your eyes to your sexy smile.
Life without you, is something I never knew.
What is this feeling? Without you I am so empty.
Why do I love you?

Chorus:
Writings on the wall, your beautiful eyes I can always recall,
writings on the wall, and to this day it was worth it all,
writings on the wall, I passed you in the hall,
my heart saw it all, when you see it,
will you understand, what is at hand?
Writings on the wall.

V2:
At first I was shy, during football I could not say hi,
I did not know i was going to love you somewhere nearby.
In the hotel, all alone,
please do not sit there and cry.
No more tears, you know you will see me soon,
until then, writings on the wall.

Chorus:
Writings on the wall, your beautiful eyes I can always recall,
writings on the wall, and to this day it was worth it all,
writings on the wall, I passed you in the hall,
my heart told me it all, when you hear it,
will you understand, what is at hand?
Writings on the wall.

V3:
Flowing swiftly, through the river,
looking as sharp, as your sliver,
you won my heart, when you beat me in football,
from the very start, now I hope we never part.
What you have given me, has carved it's memory,
you gave me the beauty of the arts, the will to move on,
we made our decision, and another chapter continues,
the writings on the wall.

Chorus:
Writings on the wall, your beautiful eyes I can always recall,
writings on the wall, and to this day it was worth it all,
writings on the wall, I passed you in the hall,
my heart felt it all, when you feel it,
will you understand, what is at hand?
Writings on the wall.

V4:
Seperated at times, for decisions that were yours alone,
they play the monarchs in thi cruel world, absolute power is what they have,
soon there will be an uproar, in this simple life of ours,
the beauty will become another, one day...
Someday, and it becomes you,
now we have made the choice, writings on the wall.

Chorus:
Writings on the wall, your beautiful eyes I can always recall,
writings on the wall, and to this day it was worth it all,
writings on the wall, I passed you in the hall,
my heart smelt it all, when you smell it,
will you understand, what is at hand?
Writings on the wall.

V5:
Hey, Stacey, wipe away your tears,
escape all inner fears, let love lead the way,
into the future we will go, who knows what will happen,
that is for us to know, someday it will be written,
Writings on the wall.

Chorus:
Writngs on the wall, your beautiful eyes I can always recall,
writings on the wall, and to this day it was worth it all,
writings on the wall, I passed you in the hall,
my head heard it all, when your heart tells you,
will you understand, what is at hand?
Writings on the wall.

page 36 in my notebook

2009-10-21T02:24:00.003-04:00

Im just gonna put up a page a day...so two poems a day tops now

You Got Me
Your brown eyes, your mezmerizing stare,
the way that, you wear your hair,
got me, running in repeat,
running in circles, until I land at your feet.
When you are not with me, I miss you so much,
you make me love the hand, that I have been dealt,
I used to not like the life I live,
but you changed all that by the way you give.
the things you do, give me reason to wake up the next day,
and I love you, Stacey, in every, single way.

I Miss You (Mexico Poem 1) You Are the One
You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning,
you are the face in my dreams I do not want to replace,
you are the one I think about every minute of the day,
you are the one whose mere voice puts a smile on my face.
You are the one who makes me feel alright about myself,
you are the one I can not be apart,
you are the one who makes my heart beat twice as fast,
cuz you are the one who took my heart.

pages 31-35 in my notebook

2009-10-20T06:13:00.002-04:00

4 Month Poem to Stacey
It has been 4 months, and we are still two,
you can count on me, I can count on you.
And the last 4 months, have been so great,
there is not one second that I am with you I hate,
you can sleep on me, while we are on the phone,
you can wait unti we are all alone.
You can say hold on, then apologize,
I can say I am kidding, after I call you thunder thighs.
We can talk on the phone, you can listen to my sighs,
ones that are happy, because you say there are no other guys.
Thank you so much, for loving me,
and showing how we are meant to be,
so now 4 weeks away, from our next anniversary,
I can not wait, I am on one knee.
This is why, it is going to be 5 months,
and you and I, will still be two,
you will still hear the moans, and we will forever be,
and I love you, and you love me.

Just the Thought
Looking back I noticed, that you and me,
were just the thought in my mind, used to keep school foward and the though behind.
But with time I let it take over, and you became my four leaf clover.
And just that one thought, of you and me together,
actually pulled us closer, and now I will love you forever.
And just the thought of losing you, a thought I feel is most untrue,
there is no one else, only us,
lets take it slow, no need to rush.
And I still feel the same, as we touch,
I never want to let go, as you dance around me,
my love starts to grow, and just that one thought,
that we could always be, it is true,
now it is always, me and you.

You are the Poem, and without you I die
You are my true one, you are my love,
you are my warm cover, you are my found glove,
all other girls, I just say forget them,
because I never had writers block, you were always my poem.
You are my eyes, you are my sure bet,
you are my sun rise, you are my sunset,
you are my handle, you are my feet,
you are my candle, you are my reason for a heartbeat.
But without you, the flame starts to die,
the books lose their words, and the nerd cry.
The sun may still rise, as water leaves my eyes,
and the vision still lies, even as the sun sets.
And we will always be true, you feel for me and I feel for you,
so this summer let us have fun in the sun and maybe even kiss in the shade,
because I know that we got each other, I am set, I am made.

Got Back Together
I lay here quiet, on my bed,
thoughts of you, running through my head.
You make me smile, you make me grin,
to think I thought, our relationship would never begin.
With every day, my love grows,
how we will end up, not even God knows.
Our feelings strong, the truth I speak,
each time we kiss, I feel so weak,
my butterflies flutter, and I want to sing,
you do not even know, all the happiness you bring.
You are my ray of sunshine, on a cloudy day,
you are my beautiful flower, in the month of May.
I will always listen, you are my little tune,
I am happy we got back, in the month of June.
You are my beautiful sunset, in the evening time,
you have even inspired me to yet again write something that can rhyme.
You bring out the best of me, make me a better man,
and I promise I will write poems, as long as I can.
I finish with these words, always going to be true,
now I will end by saying, I truly do love you.

6 Month Poem to Stacey
With the moon and stars above us, and not too much to do,
let us go and walk the dogs, and do what lovers do.
We will walk and talk while holding hands, we will laugh about that and this,
we will start to clean your room, stopping only for a kiss.
We will watch the moon floating by, and enjoy the summer wind,
wi will tell each other, I love you, we could even take a swim.
I will count the stars in your eyes, as they twinkle in the night,
I will wrap my arms around you, while we wait for morning light.
We will take abreak, not too much to do,
and we will fall in love all over, the way that lovers do.
Because rain has water, sun has shine,
moon has beams, and life is kind.
Rainbows have colors, rivers have streams,
angels have flight, and kings have queens.
Mountains have valleys, and fountains flow,
stars are bright, and glitter glows.
But all in all, on thing is true, I am the luckiest man, because I have you.

pages 27 to 30 in notebook

2009-10-19T18:07:00.002-04:00

Of Course
I have seen you smile, I have seen you cry,
I will always tell you the truth, I will never lie.
I told you I love you, told you I care,
never leave you lonely, I will always be there.
You always have the time, to listen to my voice,
I never ever forced you, it was all your choice.
If I had the money, I would buy you a horse,
my two favorite words, are your own, of course.

Nothing can beat this feeling
You could pitch me the ball, I can hit a home run,
I can throw a strikeout, I could win it all,
but it can never beat this feeling.
I could throw 10 touchdowns, I could run the ball,
I could be in the big leagues, I could never drop the ball,
but it still can never beat this feeling.
I could get a million dollars, and I would spend it all on you,
because nothing can beat this feeling, that makes us two.

Poem to Stacey
Come here, baby, and give me a kiss, I know you know I have been reminishing this,
while I was gone, I missed you, thought of you and daydreamed of you two.

Looking at you, staring into your eyes, I know you would not cheat on me or tell me lies,
feeling your lips and body touch mine, lets me know, everything is going to be fine.

I hope this relationship lasts a long time, because I like being yours and you like being mine,
I love you so much and you will never know, I have liked you since I first met you but i was too afraid to show.

I love just listening to you and hearing your voice, if I had to pick a special someone, you would be my number one choice, I am so crazy in love with you, that I do things I would not normally do.

Me and You (3 Month Poem to Stacey)
When I think of me and you, I think of all the things that we have been through,
the smiles, the sad things, and the closer we get, without any rings.
When I think of me and you, there is nothing else I would rather do,
the reality of us being together, makes everything fine, and everything better.
When I think of me and you, I think of how much,
I smile by your touch, on that very special night, when the timing is just right,
taking our shoes off our feets, as we lay on clean sheets.
When I think of me and you, I think of how our love is completely true,
and i will never cause you pain, hope you will always stay the same.
When I think of me and you, however, I think of mostly how,
I want to be with you forever.
I think of when your tired, and how sweet you are to me,
and then I want to thank you for making me so happy, and one more thing,
about you and me, how the months turned from two to three.

Such a Great You
Every class, is another love letter or two,
and every second, is when my mind sees you,
and every month, is a nother dozen flowers,
I love you so much, with each of the hours.
Every look, that our eyes do meet,
is another smile, just waiting to greet,
a meeting of our lips, or a hug that cracks your back,
I do all the dancing dips, and you can do the smack.
Another month, is another fight that does not happen,
look at your picture, mark love spots, start mappin.
I love you so much, these words must be true,
your my other half, and you never turn me blue.
So beautiful, so lovely, so every way perfect,
such love, such passion, suach a great you.

Pages 21-26 in my notebook

2009-10-19T02:22:00.003-04:00

The first 4 were written pre Stacey, I would say pre Happy but I do not even know anymore. I do not remember the idea or the model behind any of these 4 but I honestly would like to keep it that way. Everything happens for a reason and just because I hope to immortalize a feeling I felt then must mean it was nothing if I do not remember it now...

Just on a Little Break
I am crying as I write this, memories of when we used to kiss,
just got off the phone with you, reacted a little strange,
said something that is creeping down, I am afraid of drastic change.
Just on a little break, but still you got me,
I cry at night for you, pile of paper on the floor,
and I still wait for that day, you mend back my heart, to you.
Rhymind words are nothing, food is something I can not taste,
staying locked inside of my room, nack and forth I begin to pace.
The past comes back to haunt me, as I turn on mTV,
try to block away the silence, but you are all I see.
Call you on your cell phone, even though I know you are home,
ask you to decide and not to think twice, just use some memories,
mixed with ill advice, so you told me to meet you, and let the past slip away.
I met you in the darkness, could not see your face,
but still I put my had in yours so the darkness could erase,
but you did not even budge, said no and let go of my hand,
you would rather hold your grudge.

Your Side of the Bed
I would trade everything away, just to be next to you.
All the lies, and regrets, all into one.
Just so I could be, on your side of the bed.

You know my side has gotten kind of lonely, and I am sure I have been missing you.
Told you that I loved you and I hoped you say it too.
But lately I have been wishing, for one instead of two,
now all I want, is little, old you.
So get inside of my head, see what I want to say,
because now I just want to lay, on your side of the bed.

The middle is kind of cold, and my sides getting old,
but it is now totally lonely, because I am not even there,
I am on your side of the bed.

With you I want to take everything to the limit, to the edge of the bed,
and just watch it fall, on top of your jeans,
and though it might take a while, I still wait to see your smile,
you could always get inside of my head, so now let us roll to my side of the bed.

New Day
And now you are gone, the last rose pedal has hit the floor,
do not look like you are coming back anymore.
But before you finally forget, all of the memories,
nothing to regret, so please...
Do not forget about a tomorrow, another chance for you to break my heart again.
I will not forget about all the yesterdays, when you used to love my name,
always...
I got a phone call last night, from my heart,
asked me how it is supposed to go on, without you,
I told it not to talk to my brain, all it will find is pain.
So please...

I am Sorry
I would grab a paintbrush, paint my apology in the skies.
Words unique enough for only your eyes.
Show you my thoughts, give you my feelings,
look at your painting, on my ceiling and the shadows.
I know I did you wrong, but I do not want to regret,
I have already learned to live, now i must learn to forget.
My mind is blurry, jaded and confused,
my heart is broken, shattered and abused.
This is not a lie, or a sinful story,
do not want you out of my life, until you know I am sorry.

The poems from here on out are all about Stacey...well not here on out, there are some recently written about other people...friends, events, and anything I feel strong about...but the next bunch are Stacey inspired and I am pretty sure if there is anyone who reads these will know the ones that are not...

Smile with my Heart
You hold the key to my heart in the palm of your hand.
My blood rushes to my cheeks when I walk into a room and there you stand.
I was once nervous to tell you how I really feel,
it felt like a dream, and now it is so real.
The smile on your face is something I will never forget,
and my feelings for you, I will never regret.

The Angel in my Life
Only you came from heaven, and set my heart on fire.
Something tells me tears can not put it out and make it retire.
It is stronger than the will of the Africans,
more sturdy than the wings of a fly,
I will always offer a warm shoulder,
and never let you cry.
It is like kicking tires, and we are sitting up against a fence,
and it took an angel like you, for love to make sense.

Ugly is Beautiful, and You Are Just Mine
You bloomed from a flower, you cracked from an egg,
I always get to see you, and never have to beg,
but as I close my eyes, and lay me down to bed,
I get the urge to call you, and say the words left unsaid.

2006 Valentines Poem to Stacey
We met at the park, and we were playing football,
I was blinded by your beauty from that point, but I could not tell you at all.
Then I started growing hair on my neck, and started to behave,
but you were the only one who let me be me, and you did not tell me to shave.
And I love it when we talk, and all your Huhs and Wahs, all the Hold Ons,
Hi's, Say Whats, and Duhhhs,
but it is today that pulls me closer, and I do not need to wish anymore that you were mine,
I still can not believe I was that nervous, just to ask you out,
and be my Valentine.

I Love the Way (Prerevised)
I love the way that we always talk, when we are home,
and we just can not get enough, of each other,
and I can not get enough of your voice,
and the way you laugh, all the Wahs and the Huhs.
And I love the way, I can not get enough,
of the way you say you love me, when we are getting off the phone,
and I say I love you, sweet dreams, I hope I do not go blind.
And I love the way, I can not get enough,
of watching you walk towards me, then you do your little wave,
and we kiss, say hello.
And I love the way, it has been 2 months, but it only feels like a week,
and still I can not get enough of you.
Which is why I say I love the way, I love everything about you.

I Love the Way (Final Poem)
I love the way, that we always talk, when we are at home, in different rooms,
and we just can not get enough, of each other, and I can not get enough of your voice,
the way you sing only with your ipod, and the way you laigh,
and all the Wahs and Huhs.

And I love the way, I can not get enough, of the way you say you love me,
when we are getting off the phone, and I say I love you, sweet dreams,
hope I do not go blind.

And I love the way, I can not get enough, of watching you walk towards me,
then you do your little wave, we kiss, and say hello.

And I love the way, it has been two months, but it has gone by so fast,
and I still can not get enough of you, and I hope we last.

So as you read this poem, know that we will always be two, and I love the way,
I love everything about you.

Pages 9-20 of my notebook

2009-10-12T21:33:00.002-04:00

I was not able to post over the weekend since it was an AWESOME weekend...I love how things end up for the better...and just because friends finishes with ends does not mean it is over...anyway this is whenmy poems were getting better and better...my favorite 3 poems are in this next big batch

Someday

I talk to you, about the simple, little things,

but you bring up my life, so i reply "whats wrong with the life I am leading?"

So what, I am too sensitive, too caring, too affectionate,

but we all have our own wound that keeps bleeding.

"You have too much fun" you say,

but what is wrong with fun?

Maybe if you gave me something,

something to care about,

maybe I would not be nothing.

"Last time I looked in your eyes, I could not stop thinking about you. Now when I glance at you,

in your eyes there is nothing left to see."

Silence is given back to me, too many weeds in my flowerbed,

I do not know where to go, I am still blinded by your light.

But someday I will find the bravery to giht fire with fire,

someday I will find the strength to erase you.

So stop coming to me, your only a bother,

silly girl, why can't you see?

Your a thorn in my boot, just leave me be.

Another Heartache on her wrist

Why did it have to be today, looks like you had to pay,

for behind that fake couple image, you thought you knew all along,

sit and watch tv kowing you are wrong.

All because your dreams have died, do not drag me with them,

I have still got mine.

But instead I will take your knife, and with that knife,

I will not self inflict pain, I will cut ouy the part of me that still cares for you.

So stare at the knife, grasp it deep in your mind,

think about it for a while, just to find out this is your life.

But when you cut yourself, do not consider it a will or a promise,

not even a scab or a scar, just another heartache on your wrist.

Ever notice me by A Good Anonymous Friend

Ever notice me, walking by you that one day?

Or that time you said excuse me, was that all you could say?

Ever notice me, when I stood right in front of your two eyes?

Or that time I talked and you ignored me, did we ever exchange goodbyes?

Ever notice me, sitting at your table?

Or that time you said, "who is that girl" and it was I?

I might as well be reading out of a book of messed up fables,

Can I, Might I, Just say,

Ever notice me?

Out of me

If only you could have watched me fall, the words you say no more,

the heart you split, the same one you used to adore.

I have no feelings for you anymore, you went past me with a destructive force,

and I know somehow I got to get you out of me.

Even our worst fight, is now a good memory,

so I notice when I was with you I was blinded, I am always reminded,

how I was wrong.

Now everything I touch turns to dust, you make my world want to end faster,

I want to say sorry, for the disaster.

I want you out of my mind, out of my blood,

I want you out of me.

Cold Truth

Looking back at us I notice I never did anything right,

just wrong, I was a wrong choice,

you were the wrong girl to tell I love, wrong times I thought of you,

wrong girl I tried to win.

But what I am trying to say, is I am apologizing for the way I was,

the way I am, the lies I told,

your false love was gold, but now I can feel,

the darker side of me, even when I am warm,

this part is always cold.

Bye

No more lies I tell, no more pretending I am ok,

can not take what I am given, you can not take what I have to say,

now I am telling you everything.

Hey, I can not watch you wave goodbye, to our light,

our everything, what started us, what ended up,

ended up happening when you told me "the end, no more."

That crushed me, threatened to bring out the worst in me,

but i fought it, and it didn't, I didn't tell you I loved you and now you are gone,

left without a trace of even saying bye, now I have drifted away,

too far away, for anyone to ever catch me,

so now I knew I was wrong, but where you are now,

you do not belong.

Pieces of Pain

My heart when you were gone was a rigid frame, it never bent,

only broke to pieces, I thought hope would put it back together,

but it never came, so now I think,

love, world, life, hate,

why does everyone in this world think life is so great, when moments like these,

only end up in disaster, nothing changes,

no rearranges, only darkness, loneliness,

no happiness or joy, just everlasting memories,

and the effect is pain, end up puking,

start to hurl, you were my teen angel,

now your just another girl.

Meeting Regret

I should not waste another day, thinking of things I should have said,

to try and get you back.

But I know when your back, the cause,

I know the pain, teardrops,

the effect, which I already started and the end I still regret.

Now I sit, stand, sit and lay,

everyday, and think about you,

but do you ever hear me?

Do you ever see the part of me no one sees?

Do you even feel me?

Have you ever felt this pain?

Do you even know when I reach out and grab you,

grasping for air?

Death with a Birth

Come out in this world, scared, afraid,

but only your mind is lonely, you can not see anything but a face looking at you,

now you feel a breeze, blowing, another face,

she smiles, then her eyes close,

you fall on a sft area, you hear voices but you can not understand,

you see the face again, but the person is not moving,

she is frozen, then you hear the words over and over, the words you remember,

for the rest of your life, she is dead.

Highway of Regret

They say it is ok, you will be better tomorrow,

but when it is happening to you it is something else,

the friend you thought you knew has gone away,

they will never believe the night mares,

the pain she put you through, well I am not a poor thing,

leave me alone, I was meant to make this turn,

on this supposed neverending highway,

no exits, just regrets, but at the "supposed" end,

comes with a surprise, her beautiful face,

and gallant blue eyes.

I Have Feelings

You have made me cry, was once, lost the number now,

and you made me feel like a rock in your shoe,

but I have feelings too.

I am not an imaginary unemotional person,

but I used to have alot of feelings for you, but now they are done.

I have had it, I am through with all these breaks,

I have feelings too, which you rudely have taken,

I am now a cold stone, and in you I was mistaken.

Wrong Smile

The baby lions all laid close to their mother and cried,

they were sad and now lonely for now their mother had died,

they then looked at the hunter, with large teeth and growled,

as a wolf in the background saw this and howled,

then all the cat related critters, gathered angrily around the hunter,

full of jitters, the hunter then laid down on the floor in vain,

as he became guilty, scared, and slain,

for everyone kills, because of revenge or hate,

it is never a day or a second too late,

it happens in everyones life once in a while,

but the sickest murderers, are those who do it for a smile.

Walk in Someones Elses Shoes

How would you feel, if you had no one to talk to,

you had mixed emotions, think you found the perfect person,

but you were wrong, not once, not twice, but many times.

How would you feel, if you went to sleep one person,

and woke up another, someone sad, full of sorrow,

waking up with a tear, thinking about someone,

you will never ever have, you want to be her first kiss,

but you do not know how she feels about you.

How would you feel, if everyone around you was drinking,

attempting to try drugs, even someone you thought you knew,

you do not want to know anymore.

How would you feel, if life for you every second,

was like a book of memories,

you would not, until you walk in someone elses shoes.

My Rainbow

It really does not matter if the day is dark or bright,

you can always make it better, if our love is right,

sometimes clouds obscure the sunshine,

thats when faith comes shining through,

for I know there is a rainbow,

just beyond my point of view,

so I've learned to keep on trusting,

even in the darkest day,

and I'll always find a rainbow that can drive those clouds away.

Horizon Dreams

If I can endure for this minute, whatever is happening to me,

no matter how heavy my heart is, or how dark the moment may be,

if I can keep on believing, what I know in my heart is true,

that darkness will fade with the morning, and that this will pass away too,

then nothing can ever disturb me, or fill me with uncertain fear,

for as sure as night brings sadness, my morning is bound to appear.

Remember me, God?

Remember me God? I come every day,

just to talk with you lord, and to learn how to pray,

you make me feel welcome, you reach out your hand,

I need never explain, for you understand,

I came to you frightened, and burdened with care,

so lonely and lost, and so filled with despair,

and suddenly, lord, I'm no longer afraid,

my burden is lighter, and the dark shadows fade,

oh God what a comfort, to know that you care,

and to know when I seek you, you will always be there.

Handicapped Soul

In the mind of mortals dread of dying, to stiffle back the sounds of cring,

accuse the words most bent of lying, lifes waltz becomes denied.

Bestow to me my final wish, feed arsinic from a tarnished dish,

poured upon some staley fish, I like my poison fried.

So clever doth my heart keep beating, the cursed throb so fond of cheating,

to cease the breath of life so fleeting, the crust has barely dried.

Mocked by dogs with barking laughter, impale my fears upon the rafter,

I am now content both here and after, into the dark I stride.

The worms and I are now such friends, I have time enough to make ammends,

my brittle neck no longer bends, amused to know I have died.

You Again

The incomparable beauty, of her common brown eyes,

brings about the pain, my heart now cries.

All my relationships, have gone so fast,

maybe I tried too hard, to make them last.

Before this poem, you should know,

all my feelings, they always show.

But from now on, I can not eclipse,

the picture of me and you, touching lips.

I am telling you know, that in 3 weeks,

it is true, the girl I could not stop thinking about, was unrivaled, little you.

But a break you decide, tore right through my heart,

I shudder some at the fact, that for right now, we are apart.

pages 3-8 in my notebook

2009-10-09T03:31:00.002-04:00

I figured I would post them alot quicker...Im actually hyped though because i found a site called postpoems.com where i can post them and people will actually read them

Why do pictures of you have to smile?
Took a picture of you one day, when you were not the only one who smiled,
now all I got is this crummy pictures, and I am in denial,
Do I love you? Do I care? Why do pictures of you always have to smile?

Goodbye, forever, just stay where you are,
no sudden road trips, not without a doubt,
I told you I loved you,
any louder, I would have to shout.

Now I am alone in a room, with all your pictures,
I sent you one, But I did not smile,
so why do pictures of you, always have to smile?

Lift my head and raise my heart
Tell me the words you want to hear, I am not a predictor, or a good seer,
but if you just tell me, what you really want,
I will tell you, who I truly need,
only one person for me,
so I will fight for you, I more than plead,
but October 15 was the start,
of the month, you,
lifted my head and raised my heart.

So I will close my eyes, and go back in time,
but I just might slip,
come and catch me,
as i call.
So this is it,
I am stuck going down,
Hurry!
I'm falling!
Wonder if i close my eyes and believe,
would i fly?
But only if you could make me see,
So if to love is to live,
then I want to live again,
you and me.

You Were...
You are my beauty, mu light at the end,
my tunnel doesn't stay straight, without you it bends,
nothing is the same, taste the water in this cup,
waited for you so long, at times I gave up.

But it is because what you were,
that I am still holding on, it is my pride,
i will wait at your doorstep, even if you close it,
with one foot inside.

And that one foot represents, my craving, my need,
plant it in the ground, as a little tiny seed,
so I cry out, "God give me answers," and he replies,
mighty and tall,
knowing nothing, is better than knowing at all.

But it is not only because of what you were,
that shows me I still love you to this night, and many more,
it is also because of who you still are,
someone who I am willing, and ready, to fight for.

They Say
Say you will never know where you are going,
until you know where you have been,
you will be destined to a repeat,
if you do not know your past.

Sounds good to me, not like life has been good,
but that is only so far,
I have to stop living so fast.

Say it is destiny,
that I should leave it as is,
but how can I do that,
when my heart says it is true.

Without you, not one poem,
would be in this book,
I would be destined to darkness,
be depressed and blue.

But you already dug me my grave,
and shoved me in with sin,
but that does not mean,
I can not keep my head up high.

I'm not insane, just punch-drunk
I smell like an old turkey, left out for no one to eat,
look like a dumpster, I am 15 and probably damaged,
But I am not obsessed, or too dramatic,
just a little punch-drunk,
and wondering what I did wrong,
thinking is getting me ecstatic,
only if you, bunk upon bunk,
but outcome is always, "What if I did not belong?"
I get mad at myself for going to sleep,
with you on my mind,
we never had one last kiss, or even dined.
So now I go from old turkey,
to dirty, lonely skunk,
and I figure I am not in love,
I am just a little punch-drunk.

Blue Me
Everybody else seems far away,
so can you come and make them disappear,
come give me love and crack through the heartbroken stone,
but do not use your mouth,
and try to talk,
just kiss me for words are only words,
show me that love aint easy.
But all I want to do is put you in the past,
will not show yo my affection, it is all in the mask,
make the day you broke up with me, a day you will regret,
i can not just start, to forgive and forget.
You truly changed my color, straight to depressing blue,
now your the dust in my eye, and the rock in my shoe,
freeze me where I stand, turn me right into ice,
you are the sweetest little thing, like rolling snake eyes on dice.

Pages 1 and 2 of my notebook

2009-10-07T08:08:00.002-04:00

I have been writing poems for a long time now. I used to have a little notebook FULL of them but they were stolen by a certain someone and supposedly lost. At first I was pissed cuz I lost all the writings and the chance to be able to look back and see how much I had progressed in my writings but then I thought of this. Maybe they were so good and touching to her that she HAD to steal it so she could be able to read them whenever she was down. But the truth is probably they are lost because she thought it would be funny to steal something...

I am now starting from the VERY beginning of the notebook. These go back to like 2003 or 2004, I really do not remember but they go back a LONG time. I plan on putting up two poems a day so hopefully people will read them.

Sonnets to No One special
Everytime you pass by, it is always the same,
I hope our eyes will meet,
but with the dim lights, comes more pain,
a broken tv, no one wants to see,
I am still the same man,
but you choose to get to know me, then let me be,
so I will move on, and I know we will fight,
when you think of me now, do you wish I was right?

I thank the wind that blew you close,
the flowers I saw that reminded me of you,
the ones that were blowing, gently blue,
thank the fact you gave me my daily dose.
Not a let down, the opposite, a smile,
you said yes, took me where eyes could not see,
behind the building, tell me who I should be,
but still I smiled, in spite of lost love, the pain is vile.
I saw it before, but as a dream from a broken heart,
but you put it together, such a unique art,
and now that it is strong, and my heart is yearning,
for more of your words,
that save absurd, no broken wings, no broken birds,
nothing but you and me, learning, a continued burning.

Is there a time, in which the wrong turns to right,
when time seems to slow down,
bet that would stir such a fright,
but at least everyone would care, and no one would frown.
Wish I were strong, wish I was your dreams,
can not find the person, who wants me to be me,
just anyone out there who is more than what seems,
a strong verse in a song, or a sweet melody.
But everything ends, and another begins,
God gave us choices, and an overall feeling,
won't let you in heaven, for your heartbreaking sins,
and my apple started peeling.
So I will wait it oy, be the better "man,"
just continue with your vile plan.

Drown by Junot Diaz

2009-01-06T07:16:00.002-05:00

What is there to say about this book other than...ummm, what the hell is going on? I honestly do not at ALL want to read this one ever again because I, unlike other books I have read, did not want to read this ANYmore. Unless you are a person who is interested in the life of immigrants in their home land and their troubles in America, do not pick up this book. It may be because I usually read fiction stories and this one had a little bit too much non-fiction for me, either way this goes down on my list of dont ever read books. Half the time I was reading this book, I was sitting there and in awe at the fact that ANYONE could have written this, and much to my surprise, The Colorado Kid by Stephen King was topped as my all time WHAT THE HELL WERE THINKING book, basically I would rather read a book about a grandma stating how she planned on crossing the road without her grandsons assistance....

Sorry Diaz but thank god I was forced to read this for school!

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

2009-01-02T04:05:00.003-05:00

For anyone who has seen the movie and not figured out why it was such a disappointment to all twilight fans, then they have not read the book themselves. Some noted differences was the fact that in the novel Edward states that Twilight is the safest time for them as vampires, but the movie cuts this out even though it has to do with the actual novel. Another is that Bella did not even have a cell phone in the book, or that the prom was held in the gym in the novel and at view point inn in the movie. If you want to know the rest go here http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Twilight_book_to_movie_differences

I still felt that this is a must read novel much as the Harry Potter series was. The combination of Bella's adoration for Edward and Edward's struggle not to kill Bella has to do with the sexual urges that adolescence brings. But the true maker of the series is the risky relationship between Bella and a vampire. Anything with dangerous love will attract teens, no matter what sex. The tie in of slight action and fast pulse reading helps Twilight get a B+ from me...

funny MLB photos---Take 3

2008-12-12T08:55:00.001-05:00

Funny MLB photos---Take 2

2008-12-12T08:53:00.001-05:00

Funny MLB Pictures---take 1

2008-12-12T08:51:00.001-05:00

My Feelings on Recent Events

2008-12-12T07:56:00.003-05:00

So let me get this straight... Cole Hamels wants to bitch and moan about how Jose Reyes showboats, when his own shortstop Jimmy Rollins began the "real" tension between the Phillies and the Mets by claiming their team as the team to beat. Well how about a taste of your own medicine, it is not showboating. When a player with as much energy as Reyes does something that immediately affects the game, he expresses how he feels as he is going around the bases. The fans of the Mets love it, so all because the Phillie players along with a select handful take offense to it, Reyes is supposed to stop. No, reyes continue doing what you are doing. But please do showboat Twice as much now during Phillie Met games. At Citi Field, I will be watching so give me something besides our newest acquisitions in the bullpen to cheer about.
So the era of Heilman is finally at an end. Sadly, we had to end the era of Smith, a side armer that I had become fond of during clutch games, but we got Putz for it. So we got rid of Carp who had ALOT of trouble hitting lefties, Chavez who will be missed, Smith who will be equally missed, and a couple of let downs in our minor league system. That is perfectly fine with me. To be honest I am happy that we did not get rid of Schoeneweis. I have gotten used to him way too much. He may usually mess up during the first half of the season, but the second half he becomes somewhat of the Johan in the bullpen. So I will take a second half surge over a first half one hit wonder anytime.
What is with the Yankees and Mets? They seem to be comparing a little too much. First the Mets sign K-Rod on the 9th then the Yanks sign CC. Then the Mets sign JJ. Now the Yanks want Mike Cameron, a former Met. Also, they want to resign Pettite where the Mets want to resign Perez and Martinez. My own opinion, let martinez go his way from us. And after being in attendance at the last game of the season last year, I am SICK and TIRED of lefties blowing our season. First, Glavine then Perez. Say what you want about how Perez had an ok start, but I just do not see myself wanting to watch Perez anymore. He has to be the most bipolar pitcher out there. One day he can be like an ace of a team then the next start he seems like Pelfrey during his early days. Something has got to give, and it is definitely not 60 million for 5 years.
Let me conclude by saying this. When Hamels went on the air on the METS' radio station to state that we "were" choke artists, I am fine with that. But he then said that we will continue to be that until we prove him (the Phillies) wrong. OK, I really hope that in the 19 games we play the phillies that they can secure a lead by the 8th inning because K-Rod will be dominating the 9th. And Putz will be a great 1-2 punch to go along with him. But how about this, we now have a 1-2-3 punch in Sean Green, Putz, and K-Rod. Boy, it is beginning to look alot like 06 all over again.

Machochip's Intern Renato Checks Out The K-Rod Induction Ceremony A Little Early Yesterday

2008-12-12T01:14:00.000-05:00

[Ed Note: Renato Vitale is Machochip’s new intern. We’ll introduce him formally tomorrow, but today we wanted to run his first hand experience of introducing new Mets reliever Francisco Rodriguez to the Big Apple. Enjoy!]
It’s a rainy early December day, and as most people headed off to work, I was on my was down to CitiField to pay for the remaining amount of my season ticket bill. This is my third year now with season tickets to the Mets, and each year I have gone to the offices to drop off the check, each time something amazing happening. Well it turns out this year, not only did I get to check out the new stadium from a distance, I was also able to “look” at K-Rod.
I say that because they wouldn’t allow me to take absolutely any pictures of him. Apparently, the Mets organization for some reason did not want people knowing that Francisco Rodriguez was in New York. I though that maybe they would want it for themselves and boy was I right. At around 11pm later that same night, I received emails of an article welcoming K-Rod and of a video. But still, I was there during K-Rods tour when a much of the press weren’t.
As I was waiting for the elevator to take me to the third floor where the season ticket sales are based, Mets owner Jeff Wilpon passed by me. My father shook his hand as well as myself, and behind him was none other than K-Rod. Now, as I told him, he is not much taller than Billy. But he sure will overfill Billy’s boots as the new Mets closer. But K-Rod chose to talk as little as possible, and that meaning he spoke only in smiles.
Another thing I’m pretty sure of is that Jeff pointed out that in New York, fans will hassle the crap out of you if you do something wrong. So there has to be some kind of an escape route for the likes of Heilman or Schoeneweis. All depending, of course, if either of the two return. Still, the bullpen was heckled so much last year, that Jeff had to take it into consideration for the mound to sink down underground for the secret passageway that leads out of CitiField. Maybe they won’t need it if GM Omar Minaya’s plans all work out and they don’t blow it again down the stretch.
We are far from done and our staff continues to work tirelessly to strengthen our entire roster. The off-season is still young and we have ambitious plans. We are far from done and our staff continues to work tirelessly to strengthen our entire roster. As you can imagine, every day we have and continue to talk with other clubs about potential trades and with free agents to make the first year at Citi Field something special. The off-season is still young and we have ambitious plans.
Straight from the mouth of Omar Minaya himself. I have to admit though, his off-season resume is better than any other GM in the MLB today. He went from Martinez to Beltran to Billy to Johan and now to K-Rod. So now we sit and wait, hoping Omar pulls another magic player out of his bag of tricks. Rodriguez will wear number 75 as a Met and has already gotten the tour of Citi Field. Now all that’s left is to find that damn secret passageway!
you can check it out here:
http://machochip.com/2008/12/machochips-intern-renato-checks-out-the-krod-induction-ceremony-a-little-early-yesterday.php

I was there and you weren't

2008-12-11T02:14:00.004-05:00

So it’s a rainy early December day and people are home drinking their hot cocoa, sitting by the fire, listening to another wonderful speech from President Franklin Roosevelt. Now if that is the case, you truly must have lost your mind because there hasn’t been a "fireside chat" since the 40’s. Anyway, my day was spent traveling to CitiField to pay for the remaining amount of my season ticket bill.
This is my third year now with season tickets to the Mets, and each year I have gone to the offices to drop off the check, each time something amazing happening. Well it turns out this year, not only did I get to check out the new stadium from a distance, I was also able to "look" at K-Rod. I say that because they would not allow me to take absolutely any pictures of him. As I was waiting for the elevator to take me to the third floor where the season ticket sales are based, Jeff Wilpon passed by me. My father shook his hand as well as myself, and behind him was none other than K-rod. Now, as I told him, he is not much taller than Billy. But he sure will overfill Billy’s boots as the new Mets closer. But K-Rod chose to talk as little as possible, and that meaning he spoke only in smiles.
So, to get to the point, the Mets organization for some reason did not want people knowing that Francisco Rodriguez was in New York. I though that maybe they would want it for themselves and boy was I right. At around 11pm later that same night, I received emails of an article welcoming K-Rod and of a video. But still, I was there during K-Rods tour when alot of people weren't. Antoher thing I am pretty sure of is that Jeff pointed out that in New York, fans will hassle the crap out of you if you do something wrong. So there has to be some kind of an escape route for the likes of Heilman or Schoeneweis. All depending, of course, if either of the two return. Still, the bullpen was heckled so much last year, that Jeff had to take it into consideration for the mound to sink down underground for the secret passageway that leads out of CitiField.
We are far from done and our staff continues to work tirelessly to strengthen our entire roster. As you can imagine, every day we have and continue to talk with other clubs about potential trades and with free agents to make the first year at Citi Field something special. The off-season is still young and we have ambitious plans
We are far from done and our staff continues to work tirelessly to strengthen our entire roster. As you ca. The off-season is still young and we have ambitious plans. We are far from done and our staff continues to work tirelessly to strengthen our entire roster. As you can imagine, every day we have and continue to talk with other clubs about potential trades and with free agents to make the first year at Citi Field something special. The off-season is still young and we have ambitious plans.
Straight from the mouth of Omar Minaya himself. I have to admit though, his off-season resume is better than any other GM in the MLB today. He went from Martinez to Beltran to Billy to Johan and now to K-Rod. So now we sit and wait, hoping Omar pulls another magic player out of his bag of tricks. Rodriguez will wear number 75 as a Met and has already gotten the tour of Citi Field. Now all that’s left is to find that damn secret passageway!

Highly Anticipated Super “Plate" Party Announced For Tampa

2008-12-06T13:17:00.000-05:00

It’s February 1, 2009, and all you can think of doing is going to your friend’s house to watch his huge HDTV, eat some chips, and get ready for the Super Bowl. Right?
Wrong? Your going to the exclusive Club 009 party in Tampa. You will be joining the greats like Marcus Allen, Jim Brown, Tony Dorsett, Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana, Doug Williams and Jerry Rice, and not-so-greats like Jesse Palmer. The latter two will be hosting the event, which is brought to us jointly by PrimeSport and DeBartolo Sports and Entertainment.
“Our expertise is high-end, high-energy, and highly-unforgettable parties and event experiences,” says Sharyn Outtrim, spokesperson for RazorGator and PrimeSport. “Our guests keep coming back to our events because they know they will enjoy memorable up close and personal encounters with other game goers and high-profile celebrities.”
Well, that does sound oh so great, but how about the “high-end, high-energy, and highly-unforgettable” party you either have at your house or another friend has at theirs. Last year, I had a “Super Bowl” party with mostly Jets fans. Watching Eli and co. stampede all over the Patriots in the last four minutes of the game was by far the most high-energy moment that we will never forget, even if there was one Patriots fan in attendance.
Now, now…do not jump to conclusions. Even though there will be many NFL ex-players in attendance, and it will be held on the same day as the Super Bowl, and it will be held just three blocks away from Raymond James stadium, do not expect this to be a party for the “Super Bowl.” Cause if you say it is, the NFL gets the lawyers out. Therefore,it is by no means affiliated with the NFL, its just a bunch of grumpy old angry guys who used to play some football. I mean, it is a “possibility” if you buy the hospitality package that you will be able to attend the Super Bowl in person. But this is by no means a “Super Bowl Party.”
To avoid the lawsuit, the organizers should call it the Super “Plate” party. We all know that at restaurants first comes the soup on a bowl, then the meal on the plate. So what comes before the Super Bowl? A party for the Super Bowl but not at all affiliated with the NFL! Right?
But if you were a Raiders fan who grew up watching some of these players and have all hopes of attending this party on the day of the Super Bowl, and wish to watch some football as well, then go to www.razorgator.com or www.primesport.com to purchase a ticket or two to this Super “Plate” party. Prices start at $495 for a pass or $2,350 to $9,400 for a package which can, according to the announcement, include hotel rooms, Club 009 party tickets, 24-hour concierge service, shuttles, daily breakfast, transportation to and from the game and, of course, tickets to the game at a variety of price points and positions.
I don’t like the uncertainty of that “can.” It leaves open the possibility that the hotel room could actually be a truck stop, the concierge service could be a bunch of convicts trying to clean themselves up, the shuttles and transportation will more likely be cheese buses, and the daily breakfast will include of frozen waffles, expired milk, and graham crackers.

Highly Anticipated Super “Plate” Party Announced to take Place in Tampa

2008-12-05T00:09:00.001-05:00

It’s February 1 2009, and all you can think of doing is going to your friend’s house to watch his huge HD TV, eat some chips, and watch the Super Bowl. Right?

Wrong? Your going to the exclusive club 009 party in Tampa. You will be joining the likes of Marcus Allen, Jim Brown, Tony Dorsett, Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana, Doug Williams, Jerry Rice, and Jesse Palmer. The latter two will be hosting the event which is brought to us in part by PrimeSport as well as DeBartolo Sports and Entertainment.

"Our expertise is high-end, high-energy, and highly-unforgettable parties and event experiences," says Sharyn Outtrim, spokesperson for RazorGator and PrimeSport. "Our guests keep coming back to our events because they know they will enjoy memorable up close and personal encounters with other game goers and high-profile celebrities."

Well, that does sound oh so great, but how about the "high-end, high-energry, and highly-unforgettable" party you either have at your house or another friend has at theirs. Last year, I had a "Super Bowl" party with mostly Jets fans. Watching Eli and co. stampede all over the Patriots in the last 4 minutes of the game was by far the most high-energy moment that we will never forget, even if there was one Patriots fan in attendance.

Now, now…do not jump to conclusions. All because there will be many NFL ex-players in attendance, although it will be held on the same day as the Super Bowl, and it will be held just three blocks away from Raymond James stadium, do not expect this to be a party for the Super Bowl. It is by no means affiliated with the NFL, just a bunch of grumpy old angry guys who used to play some football. I mean, it is a "possibility" if you buy the hospitality package that you will be able to attend the Super Bowl in person. But this is by no means a Super Bowl Party.

Since the companies as well as the hosts do not wish to be sued by the NFL, they should call it the Super "Plate" party. We all know that at restaurants first comes the soup on a bowl, then the meal on the plate. So what comes before the Super Bowl, a party for the Super Bowl but not at all affiliated with the NFL.

But if you were a Raiders fan who grew up watching some of these players and have all hopes of attending this party on the day of the Super Bowl, and wish to watch some football as well, then go to www.razorgator.com or www.primesport.com to purchase a ticket or two to this Super "Plate" party. Prices start at $495 for a pass or $2,350 to $9,400 for a package which can include hotel rooms, Club 009 party tickets, 24-hour concierge service, shuttles, daily breakfast, transportation to and from the game and, of course, tickets to the game at a variety of price points and positions. Now be aware that the hotel room will probably be a truck stop, the concierge service will be a bunch of convicts trying to clean themselves up, the shuttles and transportation will most likely be cheese buses, and the daily breakfast will include of frozen waffles, expired milk, and gram crackers. Now if you are still very intrigued and have enough money, then do buy the package to see two of the best teams this season square off.

You have got to be kidding me!????!!????

2008-12-03T07:22:00.001-05:00

I posted this video at around 4 am....and it already has 73 views!!! That is absolutely ridiculous!!! I am so amazed by the fact that my voice is so bad yet it has 73 views and one rating of 4 stars!!! That is an honor for me...I still can't wait for my first comment then my first compliment then my first insult. I love looking at what people can come up with. It is hilarious , some of the insults that people can come with. I purposefully wore the cowboy hat in hopes of just that. Maybe I can spruce up the comments and make them way more hilarious. Anyway, I have much more coming since this one was such a hit so far. I even wrote my own song. So who knows how that will turn out.

This Year in Baseball

2008-12-03T06:05:00.004-05:00

Let us see what respectable players in my mind deserve tha awrds...

Hitter: As much as I would like to vote for Delgado (D-God) I can't. The true winner should be Outfielder Manny Ramirez. He went from the Red Sox where he was beginning to slump to the Dodgers where he exploded! He was the sole piece to their almost World Series push.

Starter: Sure call me biased, but I could care less. The winner of this is Johan Santana. He went from the Minnesota Twins, a team that wasn't known for their playoff appearances, to the New York Mets who have recently begun to show their faces in the Postseason. He went 16-7 last season with the Mets, but could have easily won at least 20-22 if it were not for the bullpen (I know who you are and I will find you!!!). He led the majors with ERA for a reason, finishing up with a 2.53 ERA.

Rookie: The definite winner is Evan Longoria. He could have very well been the sole piece that pushed the Rays into the Series. He hit 6 homers with 13 RBI's in his first postseason EVER!!! That is an absolute choice to win this category.

Manager: Although I am very disappointed that Jerry Manuel was not added to this list with all the work he did for the team with the cards he was dealt. But since I am forced to choose with a limited amount of managers, I will have to go with Joe Madden. I wanted to go for Charlie Manuel but the Rays were dealt less cards and did more with it. Although a good argument could be that the Phillies went to the Series AND won...but big deal. Look at the age and the lack of experience the Rays had only to push their way to the Series in the stronger American League.

Closer: This is almost as easy as Rookie. What defines a closer? A player who comes in and closes games. Well, my pick is K-Rod. He broke the single season record for saves by accumulating 62 saves out of 69 tries. Hopefully he will bring this to the plate for the Mets.

Setup: The winner is the player who setup up wins for the team that went the furthest. Grant Balfour finished off with a 1.54 ERA and 14 holds along with 82 K's in 58.1 innings. There can't a long enough explanation since the Rays went to the Series.

Defense: The winner in my mind is Dustin Pedroia. His defense was amazing at second base and in only his third season in the MLB he (at the moment) has a .313 AVG. In his third season, he managed to hit above 200 hits. That is something Ichiro does. Who knows, maybe we could be seeing the next big thing at second base piling 200 hits every season for the rest of his career.

Performance: In his third season, this player managed to pitch a no-hitter. Let us put it this way, Tom Glavine in his many seasons has yet to pitch a no-hitter (although he was cursed throughout his career with the MEts). Jon Lester. He pitched the 18th no-hitter for the Red SOx on May 19 vs. the Royals.

Play: On July 27, it was a sure homer as I watched a pitch fly outwards toward oblivion. But Mets Center Fielder jumped up to steal a homer. Let us put it this way...He is as of now the closest to resembling the Catch by Endy Chavez in the 2006 playoffs. And that is saying something. Of course, the first player to congratulate him was.....drumroll in your head?...Endy Chavez.

Moment: When I think of this winner, I think of how I would feel if I were a fan of thier team. Well, the biggest moment was when Ryan Braun hit a homer on Sept 28, the final day of the season, to grab the wild card berth and finally defeat the Mets for the wild card.

Oddity: Now as a MEts fans I have seen plenty of oddities this season. One of them, which is not on the ballot, is when a cat was at SHea this season. I'm not sure if it was a cat, but it was running around and jumped into the Mets' dugout. Now they won that game unlike the infamous black cat cubs incident at Shea. But this season, I would have to go with another oddity I witnessed. It is to this day the best game I have ever been in attendance for. Johan Santana was up to bat and I knew that he was going to get a hit. Ironically enough it was against the Cubs. But Johan broke his bat and then the ball hit the bat by second base to push the ball away from the second baseman. Johan was safe and awarded with a hit.

Executive: The winner is of course, Andrew Friedman. He has stayed young and it is now beginning to pay off for him. All the while the Rays (known before this season as the Devil Rays) were in last place every season. They were a horrible team. But this season everything changed when they got rid of the DEVIL and understood that staying young is staying talented. Every team should live by his rules.

Postseason Moment: When David Price pitched against the Red Sox in Game 7 to pitch the final two innings, it was the greatest moment in Postseason history that I was alive for. He was a rookie, and a VERY unexperienced pitcher who was asked, nicely, to close out Game 7 for the Rays. He pushed the Rays into the Series.

Machochip.com Bio....Coming Out Soon

2008-12-03T00:01:00.000-05:00

I have exactly one pain in this world….
The New York Mets
I have had season tickets along with my father for the past two seasons and have continuously been let down by a left hander on the final game of the season. At first it was Tom Glavine, he was worn down but it was his time to shine. We all know about the collapse of 07. Next it was Oliver Perez (a day after the best baseball game I have ever seen from Johan) who had to prove his worth in New York.
Now in a fairy-tale, the Mets would have lost the first year only to come back to win it all the next. Sports has always been about this….the Steelers winning the Super Bowl behind Big Ben and the Colts winning it behind Peyton Manning…yet the cards were dealt differently for Mets fans who were let down by Perez and the bullpen.
When I’m not making YouTube videos with friends or playing Xbox 360, I write several articles for different periodicals. I write for a magazine at Hunter College in its first year called V.C.P.(Very Creative People), a little website called machochip, and my own personal blog on Google BlogSpot.
Look out 2008 Mets bullpen pitchers, I know each and every one of your names. Although I am still working on how to go about suing all of you, the day will come when I shall have my payback!

For Anyone Who Has Heard of Superman

2008-12-02T23:58:00.000-05:00

For anyone who has ever heard of the superhero Superman, you know he has X- ray vision. How strong his X-ray vision was never found out but hopefully it isn’t as strong as the new X-ray machines. Millions of Americans who travel in the air frequently must now ask themselves that question about the newer and more enhanced X-ray machines. These machines are called Backscatter machines, since they not only photograph your front side, but they also photograph your backside.
Although they may be able to see weapons hidden anywhere on the body, they still see too much just to look for a weapon they may never find on many passengers. If you want to avoid this machine for the time being, just make sure you don’t have to go through security at Phoenix Sky Harbor in Arizona. That might be tough to do because of the statistics that say this airport is the 8th busiest airport in America. That is where the Transportation Security Administration is testing out the new X-ray machine after a four year long battle with privacy issues.
First, the machine will only be another option other than a pat down from a TSA official for passengers who need extra scanning or are randomly selected. Not only do the newer X-ray machines have the ability of finding more prohibited contraband, they also have the capability of speeding up security. This makes them a high contender to replace the already in use metal detectors.
Supposedly, to go around the privacy issues, these new machines are designed to blur out personal body parts while still being able to find weapons and contraband. However, the blurring of the body parts can make finding plastic weaponry, such as plastic explosives, more difficult.
They are already deciding whether or not they should be used for big city trains and subway stations. The TSA must wait for feedback from those in Phoenix Sky Harbor, not only the security officers, but also from the passengers who go through the machine. Hopefully, the feedback is going to be negative because I don’t wish to know some stranger saw me nude, front and back.

I Know It's Old....but Who Reads This Anyway!!!

2008-12-02T23:57:00.000-05:00

It’s rare that a movie comes out like 300. A movie that you count down the days just until the movie comes out. Well those days are over. And 300 was well worth the wait.
The movie stays completely true to the $30 graphic novel it represents. King Leonidas, a Spartan, is threatened with slavery and imperialism. Leonidas, along with 300 of his best Spartan soldiers, take on thousands of Persians and slaves of King Xerces, a king who feels he is godlike, and he looks like a taller version of the singer Prince with a lot of piercings.
Gerald Butler, who plays King Leonidas, portrays the Spartan King exactly as he should be. Butler shows the might and honor of King Leonidas shown in the graphic novel. The other amazing aspect of 300 is how Frank Miller, the director, chose a complete cast of unknown actors and turned the movie into an instant hit. To address people confused with their Greek history, this movie has never claimed to be historically correct as many have and will argue. How Miller based this on a true story, yet showed Xerces and the Persians as brutal unmerciful humans, is just simply the way he wrote the graphic novel. Based on the history, they were heroes as well.
The photographer of this movie used the 1/3 photograph treatment and clever color schemes to achieve a sense of unity. Miller’s choice of music fits right in with the action of the movie. Also, the way Miller slows down the fighting during the goriest scenes fits perfectly in with the music and action to create the dynamic trio. Another reason why 300 is a must see movie are the visuals. They are simply astounding. However, this movie isn’t all about fighting. There are political scenes as well that take your breath away. One such scene is when Leonidas’ wife is speaking to the Spartan council asking them to send more troops to aid Leonidas in his fight for freedom. She states, “freedom isn’t free,” which is true on so many aspects. Personally, after seeing all the anti-war and anti-Bush documentaries that have been coming out, it’s nice to see a movie where they support our government.
This movie is rated R for all the right reasons, and I give it 4 stars. Once you see this movie, you won’t have to see any other movie because no movie can top 300. This is one of the few movies I will remember for a long time to come and Miller yet again creates an amazing movie.

Machogames: Fall To Your Death In Style In Mirror's Edge

2008-11-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

There is a new way to view first person games. EA’s Mirror’s Edge is somewhat of a first person shooter, but mostly it is a first person runner, a setup that allows the player to experience this game genre in a whole new way.

Developer DICE has put everything on the line in this one, and they won’t be disappointed at the outcome. It has a unique feel to everything, including the first-person shooting, which is not the best aspect of the game by any means.

Mirror’s Edge starts out as any EA game does, with a tutorial introducing you to the city. You quickly learn the buttons and what you can do with your parkour powers. You are smoothly introduced into the life of Faith, a tough girl who grew up watching her parents become rebels trying to stop the city’s shift to oppressive control. Although “few even remember the bad old days” you can easily tell of the corruption when the cops start opening fire along with the insane advertisements throughout the single player that warn of children turning into runners. Now come on, who doesn’t want to run around as a sexy Asian chick jumping from rooftop to rooftop, even crouching down in order to hit cops in the privates.

Mirror’s Edge has one of the most addictive game play since Grand Theft Auto IV. Remember when you wanted to run up to a parked car, break the window and speed off with the stolen goods? Well, after playing this game for a couple of hours you will start to notice everything red you see in your peripherals in real life, also thinking of ways to reach them. Throughout Mirror’s Edge you need to jump obstacles and hurdle over gaps looking for either red jumps or red doors. Even the hint button for the XBOX 360 is the red B button. Honestly, how much red must there be in a single game?

It is widely known that no gamer can just go outside and start “parkouring.” So this game brings all the thrills of doing that activity to the player’s plate. The first time I fell to my death I actually got the excitement in my mind of free falling hundreds of feet. But, falling to my death more than once is enough. And you are anything but 50 Cent as you soon realize you can only take about seven bullets until you faint. Also, the guns are not as great as going up to a cop and knocking his lights out. Still, every game must have it’s flaws so I would highly recommend this game to anyone who liked playing games that resemble Assassin’s Creed. Just be prepared to have a lot of free falls, and understand the meaning of all rice, and no meat.

Mirror’s Edge is available for XBOX 360, Playstation 3 and the PC. $60 for the console version, $50 for the PC.

here is the link to my awesome new game review!!!!
http://machochip.com/2008/11/machogames-fall-to-your-death-in-style-in-mirrors-edge.php

Mirror's Edge a straightfoward spanish dish?

2008-11-24T00:40:00.000-05:00

There is a new way to view first person games. Mirror's Edge is somewhat of a first person shooter, but mostly it is a first person runner. Experience this game genre through a whole new way. DICE truly puts everything on the line in this one, and they won't be disappointed at the outcome. It has a unique feel to everything, including the first person shooting which is not the best aspect of the game at all.
Mirror’s Edge starts out as any EA game does, with a tutorial introducing you to the city. You quickly learn the buttons and what you can do with your parkour powers. You are smoothly introduced into the life of Faith. A tough girl who grew up watching her parents become rebels trying to stop the city’s shift to oppressive control. Although "few even remember the bad old days" you can easily tell of the corruption when the cops start opening fire along with the insane advertisements throughout the single player that warn of children turning into runners.

Now come on, who doesn’t want to run around as a sexy Asian chick jumping from rooftop to rooftop, even crouching down in order to hit cops in the privates. Mirror’s Edge has one of the most addictive game play since Grand Theft Auto IV. Remember when you wanted to run up to a parked car, break the window and speed off with the stolen goods. Well, after playing this game for a couple of hours you will start to notice everything red you see in your peripherals in real life, also thinking of ways to reach them. Throughout Mirror’s Edge you need to jump obstacles and hurdle over gaps looking for either red jumps or red doors. Even the hint button for the Xbox 360 is the red B button. Honestly, how much red must there be in a single game.

It is widely known that no gamer can just go outside and start "parkouring." So this game brings all the thrills of doing that activity to the player’s plate. The first time I fell to my death I actually got the excitement in my mind of free falling hundreds of feet. But, falling to my death more than once is enough. You are anything but 50 cent as you soon realize you can only take about 7 bullets until you faint. Also, the guns are not as great as going up to a cop and knocking his lights out. Still, every game must have it's flaws so I would highly recommend this game to anyone who liked playing games that resemble Assassin's Creed. Just be prepared to have a lot of free falls, and understand the meaning of all rice, and no meat.

Why do Special Editions Have to be so....Special?

2008-10-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

So I have recently come across a rather annoying instance of me being screwed over by not buying the special edition of a game. Fable 2, for anyone who is wondering (and even reading). I got the regular one and just found out less than 1 minute ago that there is a Halo outfit that comes along with the special edition. I googled if I could somehow get it without having purchased the special edition to only be upset deeply. First, I could not get the reconz in Halo 3 and now I can not get the Hal outfit. Why must my life be so sad and depressing when it comes to outfits? Well, I can live for a little because my brother is making muffins and I am pretty sure that I yelled enough to get one. I yelled alot. Oh great, bloggers block.
And I called Gamestop earlier (the one on 86 street east side since it is the closest to my college) and wanted to know what was being given away for Gears of War 2. In short I found out that you receive a special gold thingy when you go at midnight to the launch give away sexay partay. Only if you go. Also, they are not giving anything away for Call of Duty World at War, but online they are...wait, no they are not. That is only SPECIAL EDITION!!!!
I am going to go find out whats going on with my muffins

My Hiatus has been lifted...and Kids has been resurrected from the 90's

2008-10-28T01:29:00.000-04:00

I have been gone a while but I have returned...the Mets really did a number on me and I knew that if I wrote anything it would be nagging about how they could have done better, and I simply do not want to do that to anyone who might me reading this (I hope at least ONE person is). So I am watching a movie from 1995 called Kids and jesus christ. First of all, I was 6 at the time and when I was their age there was none of that crap around me. And who the hell would let their child be in that movie? Especially that 12 year old girl in the very beginning!!! Well, I decided to look up where all the actors have gotten and found some interesting things...
Leo Fitzpatrick has been around and is My Name is Earl
Justin Pierce committed suicide on July 14, 2000
Chloe Sevigny is an Oscar winner
Rosario Dawson...well this role was made for her since she still does these types of movies
Jon Abrahams stars in decent movies from time to time
Harold Hunter died from a cocaine overdoes on Feb 17, 2006
Harmony Korine is still a nobody
You get the jist...out of the 7 people named 2 have died from their own hands and only one is well known (Dawson). Yet this movie made so much money...it was definitely the Garden State of the 1990's. Actually, Garden State was the Kids of the 2000's and there have been plenty more. Yet I still watched the movie in it's entirety and actually found it decent. Besides the fact that most of what you see if fiction, this movie was a great film...OK, I can not lie. This was a horrible film. Not because of the sex and drugs, I have no problem with that. Simply because when I was watching it, my brother walked in thinking I was watching a porno...

I Was The First One To Shea It

2008-09-29T13:57:00.001-04:00

And Good riddance. After attending last nights horrible game at Shea, I notice many things. One of which is that Shea Stadium had to be cursed. I want to call it the Curse of Glavine on our Bullpen. There are other things as well, all having to do with who we should keep and get rid of. My first case is to keep Schoeneweis, he may have given up the homer but lets face it, Church has srtuck out 6 of his last 7 at bats and the Wright and Reyes have yet been able to kick it in gear. Next is to keep Wright, Reyes, Delgado, Schneider, Chruch, Easley, R.Martinez, A. Reyes, Beltran, Chavez, Evans, and Murphy. All these guys have proven themselves one way or another. Now for the pitchers to keep; Ayala, Figueroa, Maine, Niese, Parnell, Pelfrey, JOHAN (of course), Schoeneweis, Smith, and Stokes. Now my Shit List; Feliciano, Heilman, Knight, Pedro, Muniz, Perez, Rincon, Duaner, Castro, Castillo, Marlon Anderson, and Tatis. Most of these guys did good, but could be traded for amazing players. And please do not re sign Alou. and Wagner, please retire for us. We could use your money (to get K Rod). But am I the only one feeling that Santana should've started yesterday and Niese should've stayed pitching the saturday game? Johan would have been masterful and niese would have killed the Marlins!!!
So now i wait for April 13, 2009. For when the 2009 season kicks off in New York...Citi Field is opening first, not Yankee stadium the 3rd. Lets redo our bullpen!!!!

Sexist or Racist?!?!?! Is This What We Have Become?

2008-09-23T00:36:00.000-04:00

This is what our United States of America has become? As an 18 year old, alot of people always try stopping me in front of Hunter college to ask me to if I registered to vote. I reply yes. They keep following asking what party, and I tell them the street party...That was a very bad joke, but anyway...Now I have been registered to vote since I am eager to have a say in our next president. I can remember being young and watching Bill be shoved out of the White House...I could easily say that if it were not for Matt Drudge and his report on the Drudge Report on Bill and Monica, we might not be in Iraq right now. But now, it seems as if Drudge was nothing but a slap on the back compared to what is going on now. Barack gives his wife a fist pump, now it is an act of terrorism to fist pump. As Stephen Colbert said, then terrorists have deeply penetrated our society. The wonder twins, basketball players, friends greeting each other hello on the street,etc,. On the other hand, you have a woman who we are supposed to know based on a couple of speeches and interviews. Also, the Thursday before she was named, her Wiki page had a huge increase in material. Now I can only assume this, but one of her employers must have gone on and fixed everything that could be deemed negative. Now to the main point. People who do not want to vote for Barack are deemed racist since he is an African American as well as a Muslim (who gives a shit)...and if you do not vote for McCain you are sexist since Palin is a woman. How about this...I will vote for the person I hate the least, just as every other voter has done for years. Sure there are the elderly who are brain washed by McCain, but then there lies a question...If McCain dies (he will be the oldest man ever named president) during his stay in the white house, are we really ready for Palin to be president? All you have to do is Google in her name and read about her scandals (or as some deem them, rumors)...then try to pick what you want to be...Sexist or Racist?

Mohinder Suresh finally gets balls(powers)...

2008-09-22T22:21:00.001-04:00

Does any other Heroe-nauts feel that it is about damn time Mohinder gets powers? Well, I do. I am in the process of watching it as I am writing this...so if it tends to leave the subject then you know why. So Mohinder finally has powers...super strength...and he had sexual relations with Maya? I found that extremely surprising. I knew sooner or later the guy was going to get powers. Wow, and now Elle's father had the power to turn things into gold. I am telling you...if everyone gets a power I will stop watching this show. It is already proving to back up the much deserved hype after last season flop thanks to the writers strike. But now everything is right in the universe, not sports wise though. That is another blog though, not this one. I want to dedicate this blog entry to Mohinder Suresh. No matter how fiction he may be, he finally has a big say in Heroes. I thought in season 2 they were going to make him a much bigger character, but the writers strike killed alot of my ideas. Another one was that Elle and Claire are sisters...but her head just got sliced open. Ya!!! Now Sylar has even more un-needed powers...he should kill a Burger King employee to see if he gains the power of burger flipping and french fry frying...that would be one hell of a power...

Wanting to do something? Well just do it already

2008-09-21T22:01:00.001-04:00

You know, PSP games have been very underrated. But now that I have lost all thought on the rating of the game, and rather on the meaning...I have found alot of games that are decent. One is NFL Street 2...an OK game but not a game I would play OVER and OVER again. A great game is Star Wars Force Unleashed...this is an absolute must have for PSP owners...third is the Sims 2...recently started playing it and have gotten alot of kicks out of it...but there are alot of games out there that are fun to play for those who need something to do...I already read and listen to music...now I play PSP...I never have nothing to do now!!!
1 MORE DAY UNTIL HEROES SEASON 3...HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!

Star Wars Unleashing the Force

2008-09-18T23:36:00.001-04:00

Let me start off by saying that this is the best game I gave ever played. It tops any of the three Halo games, any Guitar Hero, both Rock Bands, any game you name....this tops it. The graphics on the Xbox 360 are amazing. At the moment I am playing it on the PSP thanks to one of my fellow college buddies, and although it lacks in the graphics department....it still packs that strong punch in the story. Any Star Wars fan will play this game and feel as if they are actually in a movie. I'm not going to lie in saying this will be the only video game review I will ever give, because it probably won't...but let me declare this the first review. I couldn't wait to find out the ending....ending's....my first spoiler....so I went on Youtube and checked THEM out. And the game ends the same way it begins....fast paced and AMAZING!!!!!

This game definitely brings the force into your home, and in my case, with me on the road. Solid 5 out of 5....

Still Just an Interim Buddy

2008-09-18T22:07:00.000-04:00

If there were an award for interim manager that got lucky after the firing of an asshole....Jerry Manuel would win it easily. Now I understand why he should win manager of the year, but I also feel that he does not deserve to be the manager in the first year of CitiField!!!! He is a great guy, and isn't afraid to do what he likes...evident by his 3.4 pitcher changes a game. Highest in the MLB. Now the Mets do not deserve to choke again (alot easier since the Wild Card is an option this year), but Manuel is taking WAY too much credit for what the PLAYERS have been doing. It's obvious that Randolph wasn't liked...look at Delgado's performance under a NEW manager. Doesn't matter who that person is or could have been, just as long as it wasn't Randolph. So here is my question...Next year, we need a REAL bullpen to go with a REAL manager...and that is not INTERIM manager Jerry Manuel.

Anyone else sensing the inevitable?

2008-09-18T01:04:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else besides me feel like they already know what is going to happen with the Mets? I am a Heeeee-Uge Mets fan and I have had season tickets now for my second season. I witnessed last years downfall first hand by attending many of the end games...including the Glavine game...which goes in my book as the worst game I have ever seen. That game helped me in a way, because now no matter what happens to the Mets, I am immune unless we are 12 games in the lead with 12 games to go...that will never happen. Anyway, so this year......I'm watching TV about Phelps!!!! WHO THE HELL CARES!!!!!....OK, as I was saying...I am immune to all events that take place. Tatis separated his shoulder...so what, he was in a slump anyway...Nothing can bring me down after watching this man ruin a season!!!

So here we are a year after the infamous September collapse and it's happening again...I was at the game the other week when the Mets were in the lead 4-2 in the ninth and the bullpen blew it! It's sad that I am reminded of 2007...Our bullpen has the curse of the Glavine!!!!

Manly Feminine TV Show...on CW11?

2008-09-16T21:53:00.001-04:00

I know about the whole phenomenon when guys would go around telling girls that they were in love with "The Notebook." Now, I feel that was only so they could get in their pants, or even so they could just talk to them more. But I have been watching a show that I NEVER in a million years would watch....that show is 90210 on CW11. Yes, that is true. I watch 90210...happily. Even just now I finished watching the recent episode on my DVR box. I don't know what it is about the show, but something makes me want to watch more. Makes me want to know more. So every Tuesday, I come home to watch 90210 live or I come home a little bit after the show starts and watch it from my DVR box. Either way, this show has taken over Tuesdays for me. I won't lie, Fringe is close, but the show doesn't leave me wanting to watch more like 90210...I can't even say the name that is how embarrassing it is for me. So I will call it my Tues-show.

Somebody Has to Say it...

2008-09-16T01:33:00.000-04:00

Am I the only one who doesn't really care about Michael Phelps winning so many medals? Even when he was winning them all my friends were concerned about what he was doing and hoping he had a twitter. But I was idly standing by waiting for him to just be forgotten. Throughout the Olympics he was the story. Now his name is barely said, only to say what record he broke and what medals he won. What about the other Olympic teams? All I was seeing was enthusiasm for USA. DOn't get me wrong...I am American and love AMerica as much as a New Yorker can....but I was wondering what was going on with everyone else. The only time I really noticed was during the Gymnastics part. How the hell are those Chinese girls of the age to compete? That is a load of Horse Shit. They have the faces of a baby....They look like they can't even say a curse word...Let me not go on a tangent....Who really cares about Phelps other than friends and family now that the Olympics are done? That is the type of story I would love to see....it could be titled "3 years after USA Phelps breaks record..." I am sure the news can figure out what to fill in the blank after that. He must be all big about himself, I want to see what happens after all the pride and love is lost for him...

type his last name into Google and this is what you get...

Results 1 - 10 of about 22,700,000 for Phelps

Come on!!!!!!

Fall TV Shows....wait, here comes NBC

2008-09-16T01:24:00.000-04:00

I have been in withdrawl for about 8 months....since Heroes Season 2 ended. I mean it wasn't the best season, but it was still Heroes. The story was still moving and I was getting my weekly dose of what is going on in the world on Peter Petrelli......Ever since that Writers strike ruined TV for me (thank you youtube for jumping in to save the day!!! errr, I mean weeks), I have been without Heroes. I ALMOST resorted to watching 24 and Lost since my father has all the seasons. But don't fret, I didn't go near them. So here I am less than a week away and I will let you know how I survived witout weekly Heroes news.
Video Games.....Mediocre TV Shows......Girlfriend......Girlfriends "reality" shows (damn those girl shows).....reading Stephen King.....
Here I am writing...or rather blogging....and watching America's Toughest Jobs on NBC......not a great show but something to keep me occupied until Monday, the 22nd of September!!!!

Break Down the Wall of Smoke

2008-09-16T01:15:00.001-04:00

Now Hunter College is a great college. It’s already been established that there are “cool” students, teachers, and classes. Yet how about the not so cool elements. Think hard…Well, on my first day I was greeted with smoke. A whole wall of it in front of the Hunter West entrance. I figured that was the designated zone to smoke, but after all my classes were finished I exited through the Hunter North building and was waved farewell by another group of smokers. I never knew that this many students smoked. At Hunter there are about 15,718 under-grads, my question is how many resort to smoking? I know I sound like a nagger but why would anyone smoke. Not only does it hurt your body, this part I could care less about. It’s your body so do what you want to it. My problem is when I’m walking and someone blows a huge cloud of smoke right in my face. That has to be the most annoying thing in the world. A study in 2006 showed that at least one in five college students smoke. That is way too high. A lot of my friends throughout High School smoked. I always thought that once I got to college that would be a thing of the past, but now that I see that every person is at least 18 and can smoke there is much more of it. Out of my entire 3 weeks of college experiences, this is my only complaint. Maybe they should set an area where students can go to smoke like they do at Shea Stadium. My media studies professor, Robert Stanley, told me that years ago students used to smoke in classrooms! That is absurd and thank god they got rid of it. Still, despite the walls of smoke greeting you and saying farewell to you, Hunter college is a great college and I am very glad that I not only got accepted, but attended it.

Sarah Palin Wikipedia Scandal? « Thomas Roche

2008-09-15T23:17:00.000-04:00

Sarah Palin Wikipedia Scandal? « Thomas Roche: "‘NPR just had a story about a flurry of mostly-positive edits that occurred to Sarah Palin’s wikipedia page, 45 minutes before her VP candidacy was leaked–including edits that removed/downplayed references to the brother-in-law scandal. The author of those edits? An anonymous user with the handle ‘YoungTrig.’ Trig–I’m sure just coincidentally–is the name of Palin’s infant son.’"

This is very suspicious...yet if we don't vote for her we are sexist!!!!

First time for Everything?

2008-09-15T23:09:00.000-04:00

Is there a first time for everything? For some, they just seem to sly away from unknowns. Such as a woman who never tried Spicy food (very rare in my friends and family), they may stay away from all spicy food for fear of it. I hate sea food...For that simple fact I stay away from it. So to fix the first line....
There is a first time for SOME things...