3/18/10 Faded Memories
Mind doesn't seem to remember, much of what it used to,
when I get that pass, puff puff exhale,
seem to forget even more, feel like sitting on my cloud.
bridges ignite, as soon as I scratch the match,
or click the lighter, place it on the green,
and take off, on that short road.
Come down off that towering state, start sinking lower,
until the time when, I am out of my body,
realize life is simple, nothing more than a pop up book.
I can try to flip my pages, and always end up paper cut,
edges are too sharp, can not figure out how to proceed,
so I just stare at the same, chapter of my life.
Land back in my body, safe and sound,
memories begin to return, become that itch in my mind,
no matter how much I try, it is always our memories.
3/19/10 Words Take Flight
Bringing back the old days, just so I no longer need our happy ones,
getting the crew back, coming back into that trio,
getting high, just to block out all the shit in my life,
may listen to how stupid it is, but still my words will take flight.
Starting to lose a lot, my mind, old choices, even weight,
but the one thing that seems to stick, are the memories,
they slowly begin to consume me, so I consume liquor,
and for every cause is an effect, but fuck it, my hearts dead.
One week away from going out west, I feel it is for the best,
maybe i should not return in April, what if I decide to stay,
as long as you get hurt and fucked over, I will be happy,
do not mean to be such an ass, but why would I care?
3/22/10 TV Show Life
Trust me like a TV show, like a best friend believe her,
I am like a sitcom, just leave it to me like beaver,
just let us make that connection, like metal rarely bends,
we can have an ensemble, like the cast of friends,
never have you ever, baby come on hit these dubs,
give you mental voices, hallucinations like Braff in Scrubs,
turn you yellow, pile that paint down through rain in tons,
make your life sick and humorous like that of the Simpsons,
and maybe fill your life with joy, and some missing fun,
treat me right, it will be everybodies love at first Raymond.
But fill me with your junk food, tater tots can shatter,
I will make you unapproachable, like urkel in Family Matters,
and shit may end, threes company dead, leave you with no hope ors,
idea of where to go, so you keep going like the Ropers,
leave you crying, not feeling shit, all goods no bads,
have you confused like the faimly, in My Two Dads,
sure we may have had an up there commercial, high like Big Ben,
but babe we had a run like 8, just like Cavemen,
never phase me, high flying my space hoopty, red eyes, red face,
flying towards that never ending green, fly like Homeboys in Outer Space.
3/23/10 Heavy Wallet
Listen to me as I decide to tell the truth,
I was way too good to you even though you were a youth,
I am about to pop my top, knock my noggin on the ceiling,
I would rather be nasty than have you walk all over my feelings.
,
,
and since I was always giving, yet never seemed enough,
I am changing your name in my phone book, to "Do Not Pick Up."
I am beginning to fix that hole, where you let the rain in,
I am always going to be nice, even though guys like me never win,
life is tough, but like a big pill I learn to swallow it,
in the end it is all about that green, and life only amounts to the weight of your wallet.
3/24/10 I Am A Bad Apple
Here is the deal, i run my life as I want to run it,
I cyph whenever I get a chance, but that should not be any of your business,
I get depressed at random moments, but that is what the cyph is for,
I would not consider myself a pothead, but it comes down to that in the end.
I drink whenever I get a chance, because I need some type of warmth,
ever since you left, there has been an overcoming chill inside of me,
no one filled out my warranty, so I am stuck in this body.
If you do not like my lifestyle, well you already proved that you do not,
here is a hint, you have become everything I hate,
I hate the way you look, I hate your fake kool aid smile,
I hate your laugh, and I hate seeing you every day of the week.
I can not believe I spent 4 years with you, when each day I was pretending to be someone I am not,
thank god one of us grew balls and ended it, or i would have completely changed who I am,
I am a drinker, now add to that a pothead,
I am a complete ass when I need to be, so girls like you do not walk all over me,
so look at the person you have unleashed, you awoke the sleeping giant inside of me,
and i hate that you let me be someone I am not, you are a selfish bitch.
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