pages 129 - 130

3/10/10 Always Looking Up At A Window
I miss you so much, the pain still stabs deep within my soul,
without you these past 6 months, I have yet to be whole,
but that part that was vacated, when you vacated your throne,
has slowly started to be filled up by me, as I recreate a new home.
I continue to tell myself, what does not kill only makes me stronger,
but it is hard to repeat it so much, these days all seem longer,
wish nothing but the best for you, no matter how much I will cry,
all I need to tell myself, is everything happens for a reason, concluded with a sigh.
Girl I wish I were your personal weather, your predictions will seem ok,
and when I rained on you, I would be the talk of your day,
and those drops of water, would drip down and hit my toes,
for I would always stop, and glance up at your window.
It is a whole new point of view, being on the other side of that glass,
how badly I want your love gone from me, I yearn for the day it does pass,
no matter what I tell myself, my love for you was and is true,
no matter how beautiful I wish to tell you you are, I simply can not miss you.



3/15/10 Only Once Its Passed
Only once that high has passed, and that rented happiness is returned,
I feel like crying, want to just roll up and sleep forever,
once that confidence is empty, i feel like buying.
Only once that green is done, and my mind has lost its fog,
I think straight, and baby I feel less without you,
take a swig of bacardi, and suddenly the ground turns to flowers.
Roses are now blue, violets scarlet red,
forget about the daisies, since the flowers are now dead,
wish I could give you this feeling, you would feel like dying.
Bought me from the supermarket, drank me for a while,
then I became empty, so what need do you have of me anymore,
only once the drugs are done, I feel like dying.